Episode 18

I wake up when my alarm goes off. I get up; go out to get milk packets and newspaper. I go rubbing my eyes and only when I come back I notice the man that was sprawled on my couch. It is Karthik. Yesterday's events come crashing to me and for some insane reason I blush and even my stomach knots. He is on the couch wearing a tee shirt, either he always carried a spare or this was planned, and he seems to have picked up my spare sheets. It did not look planned, so he has a spare set of clothes, probably in his car. He seems sound asleep. Also, I have only one huge wardrobe in my entire apartment which had all my clothes along with necessities like towels, sheets etc. I blush freshly at the thought of Karthik browsing through my wardrobe.

I tip toe around him leaving the paper on the coffee table and the milk in the kitchen counter. I go brush, wash my face, drink almost half litre of water and go to the kitchen. I put the milk for boiling for my morning cup of coffee. While the milk is boiling, quite obviously, my thoughts stray to Karthik and his news of his ex.

I sigh. I know I have never liked anyone on a level more than a crush. But the way I am handling this is ridiculous. I know Karthik is a good guy, my parents did a background check and all before we confirmed on the marriage. I know a lot of things about him. But I did not know what someone who knew a person normally knows. Until yesterday, it did not even strike me to ask. Is this why I am still not comfortable with calling him as my boyfriend?

Liking someone is so different than being in a relationship. Liking someone is really different from caring for someone. In many ways, Karthik has gotten to know me. He has guessed, forced or irritated me into giving him information.

I need time to process this info about myself. I need coffee before I do any processing of any sort. The milk boils in sometime and I make a proper filter coffee. Yes, I started making filter coffee now, one can stand instant only so much. I make an extra stronger one, carry it in a huge mug and come out of the kitchen. Karthik is still asleep on the couch. I go to the balcony in my room. I have a chair there for just such occasions. Okay, I didn’t put it there; it was there when I moved, so there is a chair on the balcony for just such occasions.

I keep contemplating on my inexperience. But the most worrying thing is the blind trust I have on Karthik. Sure, he is a good guy. So far, so good. But ..

I go around in circles in my head. Of course, I have to spend a lot of effort in getting to know him. I not only like him, I do care for him. But I have to know him. I mean the guy is sleeping in my couch.

I sigh. I sip coffee and start plotting how to catalyze this process, maybe Karthik should be fed his own medicine. Being bossy and forceful could work.

I get lost in my thoughts and don’t realize someone entering the balcony. We all know who that someone is, so it is pretty dumb not being aware of him.

'Good Morning Pri', I hear in the most delicious sleepy voice. I turn back with a startle and see him. He has on the tee shirt I saw and track pants, his feet were bare. He has large feet and the short sleeved tee shows just how muscled he is. The sight of his tall, broad-shouldered form with large feet, muscly body and ruffled hair is so manly that the woman in me takes full notice of and is fascinated, enthralled even.

Since I don’t reply and since he is not as dumb as me, but very attentive and discerning, he gives a smug smile. Shit. That smile is downright heart-throb. I blink. His smile widens. If he isn’t just standing there, I might have fanned myself. He walks into and leans on the railing right in front of me. I swallow.

'Good Morning', I mumble. Even the mumble has a lot of air in the sound. Shit. I clear my throat, look up at him, smile and say a 'Hi', thankfully managing a better tone.

'Hello Priya', he says and unceremoniously swipes my coffee mug from my hand and sips my coffee. Just like that the spell breaks.

'There is such a thing called asking you know'.

'Priya, can I have your coffee?', he sounds teasing. There is nothing playful about my morning caffeine requirement. I fold my hands against my chest and glare at him.

'Nuh. You can't have mine. I will make you one, once I am done.'

'Okay, let me have just one sip?', he asks and I nod. His one sip is such a huge sip that when he returns the mug, it is empty.

I glare at him with as much heat I can muster. He laughs. 'Chill Pri. You are so grouchy in the morning'. I continue glaring. 'Okay okay. I will make more coffee', he says and starts walking. I start following him.

He puts the milk for boiling again earning points for it as I like steaming hot coffee and it needs to be steaming for a filter coffee.

I lean against the counter watching him prepare the coffee and cannot stop myself from asking him this.

'Were you so bossy always?'.

'I am not bossy really', he says. Right.

'How did your ex handle your bossiness?', I ask relentlessly.

He takes it in good humour. The corners of his mouth turn up in an almost smile.

'I know what I want. I know how to get it done. I also happen to be right most of the time. If that feels bossy to you…'

We have head the size of a huge hybrid pumpkin don’t we? 'I believe that wasn’t my question..', am I probing? Betcha.

He smiles. 'She did have a problem with my attitude too. I think she handled it by listening to me, always'.

'Nice try!'

He laughs.

'Do you have anything else to say to me? Like the whole ex thing?', I ask.

'Is this what you were thinking so seriously?'.

'Nuh. I was just observing nature'. Right. He shakes his head and laughs. Of course, he knows the truth. The man is irritating.

'I had a rebound thing immediately after. That didn’t last long though. Have been single for the last three and odd years.'

Right. More women.

He laughs. Did I say that aloud? That or my expression was loud enough. He finishes making more coffee, puts them into two mugs, hands one to me.

'Don't beat yourself up Pri. You have been single for way too long and you don’t know how to be a couple and it is probably a little late to learn voluntary commitment. Don’t worry about it. I will handle it.'

Right. 'Maybe I don’t want you to handle it?'

And voluntary commitment? He is almost 5 years older than me. But aren’t men still supposed to be comparatively immature?

'If you handle it, we will be moving so slow that if we enter a race, it will appear as if we are moving back'.

I make a rude hand gesture and he bursts out laughing. Not only that, he reaches forward and pinches my nose playfully painlessly. Right. I abuse, he is amused.

'You are cute you know.'

I bite my own teeth, ' I am not cute', I say. He just shakes his head and does the nose pinching thing again. I close my eyes to calm myself. I am not sure if I should like this or not.

'I met with an accident a couple of years back. It was quite serious. I had a shattered leg and multiple fractures'

Ohh. I open my eyes. I can't imagine him being in an accident. It might have already happened, but I don’t think I like it.

He goes on though. 'I had a metal plate in my leg until last year and it was removed', he points at his left leg. I reach forward and squeeze his arm. He nods.

'I have traveled to New York, San Francisco, Seoul and Geneva for work. I had amazing experiences and also discovered that I enjoy new places, people, culture and the whole exploration.'

'Niiice. We can travel a lot then.. I would enjoy that too. I want to visit Greece', I tell him.

Karthik sips on his coffee for a couple of seconds. 'Yes, I will take you, wherever you want to go', he says, pretty seriously.

Oh my. I go a little weak on my knees. He sounds serious. Are we in a serious relationship? I don’t want to know now. Things are moving so fast. Shit, I sounded like I was making future plans with him.

'You make good coffee', I tell him.

He accepts my diversion. 'Thanks babe', he says. Babe? Oh my. I hope I don’t swoon.

He puts his mug on the counter, pulls mine too and places it on the counter.

'You want to know anything else?', he asks.

'Not right now at least. No wait.. How do you have these clothes', I ask pointing at his tee and track.

'I carry a gym bag in my car. I work out whenever I have time. Luckily these were fresh..'

Lucky indeed.

'I have an idea', he says. I look at him with the implied question on my face.

'I am planning to work from home today. I haven’t slept properly yesterday or the day before. I am going to work some more and take the rest of the day off. I am just too tired to put in a full day'.

'Okay?'

'Do you mind if I worked from here?'

Ohhh. Ummm… okay.. but…

'Maybe you can work from here too?'

Ohhh.. Umm… Wow…

'Priya?', he prompts.

I am a bit scared. I mean, we aren’t moving too fast?

'If you aren’t comfortable Pri, you just have to say it', he smiles reassuringly.

'Won't your parents look for you?'

'I am not a kid Pri. They don’t question me'

Wait, I have a lot of work. I mean, I am doing a crucial task at work.

'Today I have a lot of work Karthik.. I need to get to work…', I say. It is true too.

I do have lot of work. Can I do it from home? Possibly. Do I want to work from home and spend time with him WHOLE day? I don’t want to answer that question at this point.

He smiles a beautiful smile. This is not the Smile. This is not his you-are-cute smile. This is his am-so-right smile. Damn.

'Okay. If you have to get back to work', he says.

'Ya. I have to', I say. His am-so-right smile widens.

I don’t know why I say the next thing. 'You are welcome to stay here.. If…'

He looks at me as if he is judging whether I mean it or not. I hope I have my poker face on, I have been practising it.

'Thanks Pri. But not today.'

He insists on dropping me to work and my protests aren’t heard. I go to work and he goes back to his place.

I have to complete my feasibility report by today. After a lot of tries at diverting myself from thinking about you-know-who, I finally attempt to get some work done. Everything goes fine. The architecture was of course fine, barring very minor changes. I send the information to Sukanya. I also make minor suggestions based on what was expected from the domain modeling. Sukanya does not feel those changes are required. Well, I tried giving suggestions. This sucks.

With this, my part in this proposal is almost done. I am unsure what to do next. I was borrowed from my usual work of maintaining and enhancing a product to do this. I don’t think I would enjoy going back. It looks like I am back to square one. Maybe I should try something new. I schedule a meeting with Shan, who still happens to be my manager.

'Hey Priya. Tell me. What is this about? I have a meeting to get to', Shan starts of right away, not even a smirk-smile.

'Shan, I wanted to discuss with you about my current role in the project…'

'Yes?'

'I don’t want to keep doing the same. I want a change'

'Okay. Tell me what do you want?'

'I want to know if there are any other opportunities'

'There are always opportunities Priya. Do you have something specific in your mind?'

'Ummm… Not really. I want to do something different and new'.

Shan looks at me as if I have not grown just two horns, but a full set of antlers.

'You have been working with Sukanya. Isn’t that different and new?'

'Yes...'

'You have been identified as part of the team that will work on such things along with regular project work. Apparently Sukanya is impressed with you'.

He sounds like he cannot comprehend such a thing. Right.

'Ya, I have been enjoying it.. but..'

'You have just started on this. Maybe you should spend some more time on this? Do you want to let me know after spending time on both your regular work and working with Sukanya's team?'

'Maybe'

'Let me know three or four months down the line Priya.'

What he says makes sense. 'Okay', I say.

Shan leaves. I sit in the meeting room playing back the conversation. Like any typical manager Shan has found a way to make feel he has done something for me without actually doing anything. Damn.

While I contemplate on my stupidity in detail, Anitha calls me.

'Hey Pri. Whatsup'

'Hi Anitha. When are you back?'

'I will be back tomorrow Priya.'

'Kewl, I thought you will stay the weekend at home though'

'I thought so too, but…'

'What happened?'. She remains silent for a few seconds.

'My parents know about Naren…'

Ohhh. 'They wanted to meet him, to talk about wedding'

'Oh no'

'I ended up telling them what happened. They feel I am being stupid.'

'Oh no'. Anitha's parents were unexpectedly modern. I cannot imagine telling my parents I am seeing someone let alone explain them about my fight with the said someone.

'Ya. What do you think Priya?'

She is asking for my opinion?

'Honestly? I understand where you are coming from. If Naren is going to ask you to change the way you dress, you don’t know what else you should change about yourself.'

'Exactly. It is such a basic thing you know. If it can bother him so much…'

'I get it. I completely get it. But you also like him right? I mean love him?'

'Yes Priya. I do. But…'

'What is the problem really Anitha?'

She doesn’t say anything. I try to guess. I replay the conversation where she said she likes Naren as is, that she wouldn’t change much about him, except of course this particular trait.

'Do you feel, by any chance, that you are the only one giving up things for this relationship?'

'Maybe', she says.

'I am not sure Anitha. I don’t know you guys that well. But could it be that you want him to meet you halfway rather than him telling you what he wants?'

Anitha sighs. 'It hurt me a lot Pri, that he would get so pissed off for a dress and would want to take a break…'

When she put it that way, 'I agree Anitha. I know he has been a complete ass about it. But maybe he doesn’t know what is expected of him? Maybe he thinks you should respect his wishes? He probably has no clue this is how you are perceiving his behavior'

'Wow Pri. I did not know you were this mature?', Anitha says.

'Nice try in stalling. Am I right? Is that what is happening?'. I hear her snort but she remains silent. 'Anitha, am not saying you guys have to get together. Maybe you should have an open and honest talk before you go either which way you know..'

'Alright alright. I will try'

'Try? Just try? How long have you been with Naren?'

'Almost a year. Okay.I will talk okay?'

'When?'

'What? I need to plan that too?'

'I don’t trust you to do that within acceptable timeframe.'

'What is the acceptable timeframe?', I can hear her rolling her eyes.

'Tomorrow'

'Nope. No way'

'Way'

'I don’t have to listen to you..'

'You don’t have to', I tell her. She sighs.

'Arrrrgh. Fine. I will'

'Great, see you tomorrow then?'

'See you.'

Did I just advise someone on relationship? I rock! 

Link to previous episodes : Episode 1  Episode 2  Episode 3  Episode 4  Episode 5  Episode 6  Episode 7  Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12 Episode 13 Episode 14 Episode 15 Episode 16 Episode 17