Episode 16

'The thing I remember about you is you sneaking out for some sort of party before your 9^th standard maths exams and getting caught when I was there at your place and your parents going gonzo.', Sravan says. I vaguely remember trying to go for a friend's birthday party, a friend who had for the first time invited boys over. It was so novel at a Chennai suburban home.

I nod. His memory could have picked out some other moment. My mom and dad gave unforgettable punishments. I think I was not allowed access to T.V, books or phone or meeting friends or anything after this incident for almost a month. The party might have been worth it, I don’t remember regretting it.

'All I remember about you is what an inspirational person you were.. probably still are. I was always asked to aspire to your marks, scores and grades. You did not do me any favors growing up', I say, trying to infuse acid in my tone. 'Wow, I can't believe that I almost didn’t recognize you for a second.', I say. We were walking around my apartment complex, essentially revisiting my earlier route.

'Sorry about that', he says and smiles. Right. As if. But he had cute dimples popping out when he smiled. He is not too tall, only slightly more than average. He is really well built though. I could make out muscles. He has his shirt sleeves rolled up and I am trying not to look at his forearms. Yep, he has attractive forearms. Overall, he is attractive, if you liked the well-built, crisp and intelligent looking sort. I don’t remember thinking that of him growing up. He was always this annoying over achiever who made life difficult for me. He catches me checking him out and gives me a smile that is much more than cute. Wow! He is damn cute.  This can't be happening. I like Karthik. I like Karthik. I like Karthik. I chant this a few more times. Does he look less cute? Nope.

'So here we are. I had to come.. My father…', he says shaking his head.

'No explanation necessary. My father's enthusiasm explains it all', I say and smile.

'Sorry to barge in like this, late at night, it is almost nine now. I am traveling to our native place tomorrow. My dad had this sudden bright idea and you know how he is..'. His dad is like my dad. So I know.

'Never mind. I wish we could have met in better circumstances', I tell him. I have a vision of me sweaty, trying to tie my hair and opening my mouth with my hair band still held between my lips. Things cannot have gone more embarrassing.

He laughs. 'No honestly. That was a much more interesting look on you..'. I glare at him. He laughs more. I roll my eyes.

He holds out his hand, palm up. 'Okay. Okay. Sorry about that. Let me be frank. I was intrigued by the idea that my dad had. All these years in the U.S, I have dated a few, but did not feel like marrying anyone. Then my dad talks about you. Your dad says it is perfect. He feels that is why your previous engagement must have broken. I remember a girl who was open and happy and getting caught doing things I never even thought of doing. I think why not. So here we are. I don’t expect to start liking you immediately, as in liking. I don’t expect you to either. Let us meet, talk and get to know each other. Let us decide after that. I am here for another month. That works for you?'

Wow. Where was this guy few months ago? What do I tell him? I know I like Karthik. But is it set it stone? Is Karthik the one? Sravan isn’t asking me to marry him right? I am just talking to him. If that’s what it is, why am I feeling guilty? I look at Sravan. He really isn’t bad looking. He is very successful, I don’t know what he does, but I have been reminded how very successful he is. I like Karthik. I like Karthik. Truth is, I really do like Karthik. Karthik's sharp brown eyes look at me and I try to conjure up his smile. Sure, he does not have dimples. But especially the Smile, the smile that confused me and made my mind foggy. Then there was his satisfied smile, the smile he gave me when he is satisfied with what I do or how I do it, full of some male thing going on. Yep, I like Karthik.

I take a deep breath. 'Sorry Sravan. I am seeing someone now. I really like him. I don’t think we should meet or explore or decide'.

'Oh', Sravan looks unsure for a moment or two.

'Wow. That was a surprise. Oh boy!', he says. I am not sure what he came prepared for. Isn't it always a fifty-fifty that someone says yes?

'I started seeing him very recently. Sorry about this confusion. My parents do not know, of course.'

'I get it Priya. No problem. Sorry for assuming things.', he seems cool enough. He nods his head. 'Shall we go back then?', he asks pointing at the direction of my apartment.

'Sure. I wouldn’t mind catching up with you though.. You know.. For old times' sake.', I offer. I can't help it. I have been brought up to have a desire to never let anyone down.

Sravan puts out his hand, for me to shake it, which I do. 'I wouldn’t mind that either. I will tell my dad something. Don’t worry about it.'

We walk back. I ask him about his experiences in a foreign country. He asks me about my job and about Karthik. We come back home.

My dad has to drop Sravan at his place as Sravan hasn't ever driven a vehicle in India. So they leave immediately. I know I am going to be drilled tomorrow.

I change to night clothes. I am just wearing a long night shirt almost like a dress, but cotton and extremely comfortable and very old. I can see that my dad had helped himself to some coffee and looked like he set the pipe in my kitchen right. It used to drip a little bit if not closed in the correct angle. I smile to myself. My dad is sweet. I start cleaning up when the doorbell buzzes. I hope it's not him again. I go and open the door. I see Karthik instead. Karthik looks very tired his hair a mess. He looks at me and does a sweep with his eyes, from my head to toe. I suddenly get aware of my night shirt and squirm a little bit. He smiles, walking in.

'Hi Priya', he says. He inexplicably gives me a hug as if I am seeing him after several days and if I am not wrong, he is sniffing my hair. He lets me go, drops his bag by the couch and falls down on it.

'Please tell me you have food. I am starving.', he says as I had not moved. I am glad to see him. But the way he walked in, hugged me and all that seemed like we had been doing this for many days, months, years. I shake myself. Feed the hungry man first, I tell myself.

'Lucky for you, I did make dinner today, give me five minutes'.

I start with the rotis, start rolling the dough. I remember he is starving and go through my fridge and pick up an apple and give it to him. I rush back. I am nervous. He is going to eat my food. Shit.

I make a few rotis, hope it is enough for him. I take the rotis in a plate and the sabzi in a small bowl and take it to him. He had finished the apple. He is sitting down completely leaned back and his head resting on the couch. He looks so tired.

I grab a bottle of water and give him the plate. He starts eating silently; I observe. He is eating my food. I like watching him eat. After about a roti is done he looks at me.

'I was prepared for the worst Priya. But this isn’t bad at all. I mean it is pretty good'.

My mind – Yayyyyy! I did it! Yessss.

My mouth - 'Thanks for sounding so surprised Karthik', in a very dry sarcastic tone.

He smiles.

'So how was your day Pri?'

Did he just call me Pri? Had he called me Pri before?

'Oh ya it went fine. I got my job done on time. I rocked at the review. Then came home and cooked, took a walk. By the way, I had cooked extra considering tomorrow as well', it is a lie, but I tell that to him anyway.

'No problem. I will take you out tomorrow for dinner', he says.

I did not expect that, but yippee.

'You better. Oh and dad was here today …', I start and stop myself. Do I tell about Sravan? I don’t know. Is that incident worth sharing with Karthik? I don’t know.

'Ohhh.. Is it? When did he leave?'

'Maybe twenty minutes back?'

'Thank God I missed him', Karthik has his own worries of course. Do I tell him or not?

'Yeah. I did not expect you today Karthik. If you had come a bit earlier..', I shudder. I have no clue what my dad's reaction would be if it was just him here. But with Sravan? I shudder again.

'I tried calling you. Your phone is off'. I have not charged it yet? How stupid of me? I get up to put my phone to charge.

'Do you want more rotis?'

'I think I am good', he says, still eating. I nod.

'Shan called me today', he starts. 'He means well. It is just that…'

'I know Karthik. I don’t blame him. But, I don’t know why he is asking me stuff he should be asking you..'

'Probably because he has not been able to ask me…', he looks sheepish. Has he been avoiding Shan? I smile. Okay.. so do I tell him about Sravan?

I sit by him, pick up the bottle and drink some water. He is almost done eating.

'Thanks Priya. I was really hungry.', he says and gets up. He goes to the kitchen to drop the plates and wash up. He comes back and drinks some water too.

'You want to say something to me Priya?', he asks. What? Am I that easy to read? I think I should train myself on poker face.

'Dad had not come alone. He had Sravan with him…'

'Sravan?', Karthik's eyebrows knit together in a classic I-don’t-like-the-Sravans-of-the-world look.

'Yup. Sravan is someone I almost grew up with. He went to the U.S immediately after schooling. He is my dad's best friend's son.'

'Okay?'

'So, Sravan was here. I took a walk with him..', I could have said that better. Right?

Karthik turns to me, his arms crossed on his chest, his face blank.

'Why did you take a walk with Sravan the someone you almost grew up with?', his voice is blank too.

'My dad thought and his dad too, that if we got married…', I don’t need to finish that sentence right? I duck my head.

'Priya?', he calls me. 'Ya?', I say without looking up.

'Priya?', he calls my name again. I nod my head, yes, I hear him.

I hear a sigh and he kneels before me. He hooks a finger under my chin and now I can't not look at him, can I?

'He wanted to just meet, talk and all that, so that we can decide'.

'Hmmm..', he drops his hand but keeps kneeling and keeps looking at me.

'I told him no'. His hands move around me, he gets closer and before I realize, his lips brush mine, a quick tentative brush. He moves back.

Oh! My! God! I go blank. 'Priya?', I hear him calling me. Not sure how many times he has called. I hope just once. He wasn’t going to get all overgrown ape-y on me? I was going to get a kiss? This is a peck, not exactly a kiss. But still.

Damn. This guy is so inconsistent.

'Karthik, tell me why you like me?'. I am not sure why.

'What?'

'Tell me why you like me', I sound confused.

'You are seriously asking me aren’t you?', well, duh. I nod. I have to know.  The Sravans of the world don’t get often turned down by the Priyas. I know I like Karthik. I know why.

He doesn’t answer for a lot of seconds, maybe minutes. I look at him. He clears his throat.

'You are true to yourself Priya.'

Huh?

'You could have married me, I am not saying I am irresistible, but I know I am a catch, no one could have faulted you, not even me. But, you were not sure, you did not want to do it for the wrong reasons. So you didn’t. Most people would have gone ahead just because they couldn’t find a reason to not marry a well settled, not bad looking young guy… Like you did in the beginning.', he pauses, looking at me, a small smile, probably because he called himself not bad looking. I nod at him. I did not think of it that way.

'You let someone you met just now, live with you, because they asked. You did not ask any questions. You don’t know how long. You see Anitha as a friend, even though you don’t know much about her and you help her. Having a proper roommate is different, helping out someone you barely know is different.. But you do it…'

Anitha is very sweet, why would I not help her? I don’t know her well, but…  Again, I did not know he saw it this way.

'You are in search for satisfaction with your work. You are in search for a purpose. You are open to explore.', he stops.  'It is not easy to explain something that is truly abstract Pri. I know I like you. I know why'. Wow, we think along similar lines. I do hope he doesn’t ask me to list down why I like him.

Ok. When put like that, I do sound interesting. Sort of. He looks at me.

'Okay.', I say. What else do you say? You don ’t say, naaa. What he says seems fair. I am not sure I consider those things as good or right. But if it works for him, fine.

He shakes his head. 'You are clueless. You don’t know yourself at all.'. Okay, maybe he should stop before things take a turn towards the embarrassing side of things. So I shoot him a warning look.

He laughs. 'You are cute.'

'I am not cute'

He smiles then. This smile is his you-are-so-cute smile. Hmph.

'So are you leaving then? It is late', I fake-stifle a fake-yawn. His your-are-so-cute smile widens. I glare. He laughs. He gets up from the couch, picks up his bag.

'I was just kidding', I tell him. He is leaving so soon?

'I know. I have to go though. I have loads to do'

'Work?'

He nods. 'Lots of work'. He walks to the door, stops, turns back. Oh my! Is he going to…

But all he does is tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear, wave and leave.

I close the door and lock, lean on it. I yawn for real. I might not sleep though. I have a certain set of lips to obsess about.

Link to previous episodes : Episode 1  Episode 2  Episode 3  Episode 4  Episode 5  Episode 6  Episode 7  Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12 Episode 13 Episode 14 Episode 15