Episode 34

‘Shan feels you are not a workaholic anymore. Which probably isn’t true. You are a workaholic.’, I tell him, very calmly.

‘Sorry?’

‘Yep. Shan spoke to me today, your parents have been talking to him about me. He told me he supports me because you have changed after meeting me that you are not a workaholic these days.’

‘I was never a workaholic’

Yep. That is what a workaholic would say.

‘That is anyways beside the point. You also have no clue on prioritization.’

‘Sorry?’

‘We watched a movie, which I have seen at least ten times already. I was reciting the dialogs.’

‘Yeah.’, he says with a smile as to what he thought about that.

‘You couldn’t bring up this topic all that time?’

‘Sorry?’

Grrrrr. What the hell?

‘You are about to leave now right?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You tell me your parents want to meet mine now?’

‘Yeah, it was just FYI. I have no plans of letting them all meet until they are much more settled.’

‘Huh?’

‘You have to tell your dad and I am not sure how that is going to go, at least you have your mother’s support. But let’s say he doesn’t like the idea for whatever reason, then he needs convincing, besides, I am not sure if my parents want to meet yours to bungle this up or to get things going. So I am just telling you. I can stall, we have time.’

Ohhhhh. My mouth actually forms an ‘O’. I freaked for a minute there.

He He. Okay. I am calm now.

‘So you have to tell your dad.’

‘I… Well.. Okay’

Or I should stage a scenario where he finds it out himself and all I have to do is give an explanation. That seems easier.

‘I think your dad will be fine though. He liked me a lot.’, Karthik goes on.

‘You know that how?’

‘He told me so, several times.’

Does he sound smug?

‘Did your parents like me? I know they don’t like me now, but at that time?’

‘They were happy that I had agreed’

Okay. How warm and loving.

‘Priya?’

‘Yeah? Wait, I still don’t get why you agreed to marry me. I did not speak well with you, neither did you try. What were you thinking?’

‘I was under huge pressure from my parents. I couldn’t think of a reason to say no to you, so I thought, why not’.

I look up at him. It sounded like he wasn’t entirely telling me the truth. Well, truth could have been worse, so I can continue in this world without burdening myself with it.

‘Words every girl wants to hear’

Karthik chuckles.

‘I also want to hear about your group meet thing..’

‘Yeah, I think it is going to be good. More people. Friends and friends of friends and few strangers have all confirmed. I am kind of excited.’

‘Cool. I am going to be living at work for a couple more days… I will be there for the event though’

‘Okay, not workaholic!’

‘So, when will you talk to your dad?’, he says ignoring my jibe.

‘I will drop by tomorrow or day after. Maybe we should go hang out in front of his office building and hope he sees us and confronts us.’

Karthik laughs.

‘You are never going to grow up completely are you?’

‘What are you talking about?’, I ask, mock-ignorant.

He kisses the top of my head.

‘Bye Pri. Be careful Pri.’, he says when I squeeze his hand with my injured one and wince in the process.

I go to the bed room.

‘All good?’, Anitha asks.

‘Yup’, I smile.

‘You guys are the least likely couple I have ever known.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You are quirky, but very likeable, he is refined and I don’t know intense and scary at times. You don’t know most of the time what you are doing, he knows and plans and is very thoughtful. You are so trusting, open and generous, he is reserved when it comes to anything a little more than acquaintance, picky and choosy. I have no idea how you two get along. But you are actually together and it seems to work’

‘Really? You think so?’

She just nods.

‘Well, I can’t speak for him, but I am completely myself with him. I have come to learn that at the end of the day, he will be there for me. I would do almost anything for him. He also seems to understand without effort’

‘Oh my god, so gushyyy’, she jokes.

‘You make fun of me, let’s see about you and Naren’, I say.

Anitha’s face loses the smile she was wearing. Trouble?

‘Anitha?’

‘I don’t think we are working out.’

Oh no.

‘You want to talk about it?’

She shakes her head.

‘Few months back, if I had known you and if this had happened, I would have advised you that all is well, that, you should try. But now, after knowing what it is and what it feels like, I am going to tell you that you are the best person to judge whether it works or not, because you are the one involved. I.. I know I am Naren’s friend. But I am also yours. So, if you tell me it isn’t working, for whatever reason, I will support you. I will also be there for Naren if and when he needs me. But before you do anything, just be sure… okay?’

She nods.

‘So you decided the menu for the meet?’

‘Yup. I have my friend’s friend helping me. I am going to make samosas and try making pani puri, he is going to make some cake-type thing and we are going to buy soft drinks and stuff.’

‘He?’

‘Yup. He is a chef. From next time, we need to collect some entry fee, do you have any idea how much all this cost?’

‘We will split it with whoever is willing. We’l see about the next time? Or you can sell the refreshments, instead of just serving it up, kind of like Ishitha’s stall’.

Anitha talks about other arrangements for the meet. We watch some funny videos on YouTube and then sleep.

************************************************************************************

‘Priya, do you want more pakodas?’, my dad asks. I was in the training, which got over earlier, so I decided to come meet my parents and if the timing is right, tell my father about Karthik.

My mother had made pakodas which she makes from left-over rice and it is always yummy and I always ate a lot more than I should.

 ‘Definitlely’, he dumps those he had in his plate to mine to go get more for himself. My mom is making them fresh, so she is still frying away.

‘So, the first meet is tomorrow?’, my mom comes into the living room with a huge plate of pakodas. How much left-over rice was there?

‘Nooo, it’s the second!’

‘Really? I don’t think I heard about the first one.’, my dad tries to remember.

‘Ummm.. Well.. I didn’t tell you about the first one really.’

‘Why? Why didn’t you?’, my mom asks.

‘I don’t know, just wanted to see how it works out first I guess. Not that it has like launched and taken off, but you know….’

‘Be careful anyways, I don’t think I am comfortable with you doing all this. Who knows what kind of people turn out for these things.’, my dad goes on.

‘It’s fine dad’

‘Is Naren and all involved in this too?’, my dad knew Naren from college days. He was an overprotective parent and made it a point to know every person I knew and had all their phone numbers with him too.

‘Yes, of course’, I tell a white lie.

‘Be careful though. Be sensible.’, he advises.

Right. ‘Yeah sure dad. I will be’. I will try for sure.

‘These days, all this online stuff.. People probably don’t know it can be misused’.

Nope. WE all know how it can be misused.

I just smile at him reassuringly.

‘It’s fine, let her do something. She is doing it in her apartment complex’s place. It will be safe’, my mother says.

‘Yup. It is very safe.  There is security and everything.’, one guy, but still, it could calm my dad.

‘Well, maybe we will drop by sometime and see for ourselves?’, he goes on.

I knew this was coming.

‘Yup, sure dad’

This time my mother goes into the kitchen, I follow her.

‘What is it?’, she asks me.

‘I want to tell dad’

‘Tell him? Tell him what?’

‘You know, about Karthik, unless you have already told him?’, I panic. I have known my mother not to be a great secret-keeper, she told everything to my dad.

‘No, I haven’t told him, I have to explain how I came to know and that would have been a disaster.’

Yup, definitely.

‘Please tell him. Everytime you say you are busy, he keeps asking me why you are so busy.’

Ugh. I can’t use that excuse anymore, can I?

‘But, I don’t know, he has just accepted that you are really living away from home.’

‘Mom, should I tell him or not?’

‘You have to at some point, so if you want to tell him now, you should. But, why do you want to tell him now?’

I sigh. ‘A very long story’.

My mother shakes her head. ‘Doesn’t sound like a good story’

I shake my head now. Sometimes I feel I have my mom’s body language. That isn’t a good epiphany.

My mother points at two cups of coffee she has been making and I pick them up and head to the living room.

I hand one cup to my dad.

‘You should stay for dinner, call your friends too’, growing up my dad was always finding ways to meet my friends and when he did, it would be an interrogation.

‘They will be busy dad’, I tell him.

‘How do you know? You didn’t even ask..’

‘Okay, I have something to tell you’

‘Yeah? What is it Priya ma?’, he asks, very sweetly. Shit. I feel my palms and other cutaneous areas sweat.

‘Ummm.. Well… I…’

I look at mom. She has her face blank.

‘I.. Okay… This is..’

‘What is it Priya? Last time you were trying to tell me something and was unable to, you were asking me to come to meet your school principal because you refused to take a Physics test as you didn’t like some chapter?’.

Shit.

‘Dad… I…’

My dad begins to say something but my mom interrupts.

‘Let her say it’

I take a deep breath.

‘You know Karthik right?’

Of course he knows Karthik.

‘Why? Has he been bothering you?’

‘Ummm. No.. We kind of accidentally met a few months back and.. well… we are… okay. We have decided that we want to get married now.’

There. I said it. Shit. But I said, we decided we want to get married. What if my dad wanted us to get married as soon as possible.

‘What?’

‘Ya.. I mean..’

‘I thought you didn’t want to marry him. You stopped the engagement. He is such a good boy, but you stopped the engagement.’

‘Umm… I…..’

‘I don’t understand’, he says and looks at my mom. I look at my mom because I don’t know how to make him understand.

‘Well, they met later accidentally, like she said, and I think they fell in love. She is telling you that she not just likes the guy we chose for her, but she actually loves him’

Wow. My mother always knows what to say and how to say it.

My dad visibly looks like he is trying to process this.

‘Priya, I liked Karthik a lot. He was a sure-footed guy’, okay, couldn’t agree more and he still is.

‘But, we were the ones to stop the wedding, I don’t think it will go well if we approach them again. They might not like you or us anymore.’

Ohhhh. I didn’t think that my father would think in that angle. I look at my mother and it looks like she might have been worrying about it too.

‘Karthik has told about us to his parents too. I don’t think it will be a problem’, I tell him.

‘Priya, I think sometimes your hasty decisions bite you back always. This is one of those times. I don’t think this is going to go well. Karthik, well, Karthik I can see is good. But I am worried the kind of life you would have with his family… He is an only son. I don’t want you to start your life with all that negativity.’

What does one say to that?

‘No dad. It will be fine. I assure you, Karthik will take care of it.’

My dad though looks at my mom.

‘You knew?’

My mom nods.

‘And?’

‘They like each other. I saw them. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know we cannot say no.’

I didn’t know that is how she felt. That she cannot say no. Okay, technically, their saying no wouldn’t matter, I would end up convincing them. But still.

I observe while my mom and dad look at each other. I wasn’t expecting drama because quite obviously my parents like Karthik a little too much and seems to have no issues with this.

‘I need to meet with Karthik.’

‘Sure dad. After the meet, the day after tomorrow, I will bring him…’

‘No Priya. I want to meet him alone.’

What? No way. That cannot be good for Karthik and I would go crazy playing the innumerable possible scenarios in my head.

‘Dad, no, I mean, Mom, this cannot…’

‘Priya, you told us what you want. Now we have to do what we have to do.’, my mother uses her this-is-final-you-can-scream-till-you-rupture-your-larynx voice.

Crap. Who would have predicted this outcome?

‘Now, you will stay, have dinner with us’, my dad goes on.

‘Ummmm… I….’

‘Priya, we selected Karthik for you as much as you did. I am glad that you like him, I just wish it was five months ago and not now’.

‘I….’

‘If you want me to understand and support you, you will do it by being here and helping us understand’

‘Okay’

So rest of the time I stayed there I tried to act as if nothing significant took place today here. My father asked me very off-handedly and not trying not to sound intrusive about Karthik. I try to sound like we had a very platonic friendship kind of relationship. I mean in my mind that is the best way to play things.

We sit down for dinner and this is how it goes.

‘Priya, can you pass the chutney?’

‘Okay’

‘So how did you accidentally meet again?’

I try not to spew the water I have been drinking.

‘Well, I was giving a treat to Anitha, Naren, Vivek and Aditya. I saw him at the restaurant we went to.’

‘Isn’t that the time your cousin said he saw you?’, my mother asks. She always had a sharp memory.

I nod. Of course we met at a “restaurant”.

Then we eat silently for some time. I try to divert them.

‘So, then how is he? What is he upto these days?’

‘Yes, he is fine. He is busy with work, you know what, he got this award at work…’

‘Oh really?’

‘Yep, It was this huge thing, in a five star hotel and great food…’, and then I stop myself, what am I doing? Why am I volunteering all this information?

‘Oh, so you went for that?’ , my father asks this to me but looks at my mother and there is some heavy communicating going on there.

‘Ummm.. yeah, I mean, he asked me to. I was there like for just some half hour…’

I am a frog. I will die by wagging my chin.

‘Is that your whatsapp profile picture? In that saree? You said it was your work party.’

Shit.

‘No no, that was from my work party’

Both my parents are very unconvinced.

‘So, what is this? Movie kind love? You would die for each other type?’, my father asks.

‘Ummm.. No.. I wouldn’t die for him..’, I mean, I wouldn’t. That is just stupid.

‘Okay, so what is it that made you change your mind?’, my mother asks.

How do I get myself into these situations? Just how?

Are parents supposed to ask all this? Does this happen to everyone?

‘Ummm… I don’t know.. We just kind of… clicked?’

‘Really? Why didn’t that happen before?’, my father sticking to his theme of why oh why couldn’t I have decided this before.

‘It just didn’t happen before….’, lame, but true.

I keep silent and try not to provoke or indulge them. But the rest of the dinner goes on in similar fashion.

I go to kitchen to help my mother and also bracing myself for what she is going to say.

‘It’s okay Priya. Your father is just shocked.’, she tells me in the same tone that she said to put those dishes into the sink.

‘He wans to meet Karthik alone. Why do you think?’

‘I think he is worried about Karthik’s parents. His father and mother are very straight-forward people who were very affected when the engagement was broken. He probably wants to assess if Karthik can convince them or do the right thing if he cannot.’

Ohhh. Really?

‘Right thing?’

‘Support you and not ask you to put up with things because you are in a way the source of the problem?’

‘Umm… ya, of course he will, he doesn’t think I am the source of the problem…’

‘Priya, he is an only son. He is everything for his parents, just like you are for us.’

I can only get the general idea of what that statement could mean.

We leave the kitchen, I say bye.

‘Day after tomorrow. Ask Karthik to be here okay?’, my dad reminds me.

‘Okay’

‘Okay, day after I am meeting your father. What time should I pick you up?’, Karthik asks me, over phone. He is at work. I am heading home with a box of food for Anitha (although four people can have a hearty dinner from the box) after convincing my father that he needn’t drop me home.

‘No. You are meeting my father. I am going to be here silently getting a stroke because of excessive nervous activity.’

Karthik remains silent for the longest time.

‘Shit’, is what I hear muttered on the other side, followed by an even lower ‘Fuck’. Okay, he needs another minute.

‘Okay. I will meet him then.’

‘Yeah okay.’

I hear another muttered ‘Shit’.

I had to laugh.

‘Yup, this is funny for you’

‘No, it isn’t. Just your reaction.’

‘I am coming over tonight’, he says. Yayy.

‘It is night’

‘I mean, later tonight’

‘Okay. You want dinner?’

‘You cooked or cooking?’

‘Mom sent a box’

‘Yeah, okay.’

Mean!

'See ya then'.

Episode 33

‘So, aren’t you going back?’, I ask him.

‘You want me to leave?’, he asks.

‘Umm.. you told your parents you would be back.’

‘Pri.. Don’t worry..’

‘They will know you are here and would probably guess…’, I say, bite my tongue, bury my face into his chest because really, they would guess and assume a lot. We were both lying on my bed, I was in my night shirt and Karthik was shirtless. There wasn’t much space so we had to make do and it was perfect.

I hear Karthik chuckling through his chest’s rumble. It then changes to a laugh.

‘I am being serious’, I raise my head to look at him.

He does some complicated raising and bending move and plants his lips on the middle of my head, kissing my hair.

‘I know. And you are right, I have to leave. I just don’t want to.’

Well, it is close to midnight. If whatever happened today didn’t cause a scandal, if he didn’t leave now, I would never be able to face his parents. They declared I am uncultured already.

I get up and move away, swiftly walking out of the room. Karthik follows me out of the bed but while I continue on to the living room, he remains. When he enters the living room while I rummage through the fridge, he is dressed, but his slick hair is all messed up. What can I say, I like this look as well.

‘Milk?’, I ask him, the only thing in the fridge to fill my stomach.

He shakes his head. I head to the kitchen to warm the milk up. Karthik follows me there.

‘Priya, it will be fine.’

I look up at him, he indeed looks fine and calm and at peace. I on the other hand am running the risk of being branded a slut, by his parents.

‘You don’t get it’, I state the truth.

The milk having warmed to a comfortable temperature I transfer it to a mug and add a spoon of honey. I start sipping it.

‘I promise, it will be fine’, he assures me. His arms around me while I continue to religiously sip more of the milk.

Well, it is spoilt milk, nothing to be done. Okay, not spoilt milk, I don’t want to call this spoilt. Spilled milk then. What’s with all the milk analogies?

I shrug.

‘I really have to go though’, he says unnecessarily, don’t I know that?

I nod. I take a sip again while I hear him chuckle, yet again. Exactly what is funny now?

‘Pri come on. This is like…’, he says sounding all upbeat.

‘Like?’

‘Nothing, forget it’, he says, but he smiles.

I smile. I mean, I smile brilliantly. He is totally right.

Karthik looks at my smile and his eyes turn intense-gleamy-possessive-sexy and a million other things. He drops his head, pulls my life giving cup of milk out of my hand, places it god-knows-where and kisses me in a way which could be called meditation.

‘I have to leave’, he says looking down at me.

I nod. He sighs.

‘This is going to get difficult.’, he says and moves away. I move back to lean against the counter as I am not entirely sure my legs can support me.

‘Lock the door Pri’, he informs. I follow him, lock the door behind him, fetch my cup of milk and go to my room.

I fold the saree to put it away and go to sleep.

******************************************************************************* 

‘Hi Priya’, I hear Shan’s voice and I look up from my laptop to find Shan’s face smirking down at me.

‘Hello Shan’

‘Got five minutes?’, he asks and points to a meeting room about ten feet away from my cubicle.

I quickly save the files I have been working on and get up and follow him. What now?

‘Yes Shan’, I say, once we go into a room.

‘Okay, so we are going to work on another business proposal, we need you on the team, Sukanya is putting together the same team again’

That’s yayyyy. Work might just get interesting after a long time.

‘That’s nice. I would like that.’

‘Also, we have identified you for a training, if you are interested there is one slot in the next week, the next one would be in the next quarter. I know it is a bit late notice, if you are interested though, you can attend the training.’

‘What is it about?’

‘Sukanya recommended it for you. I will send you all the details.’

‘Sure’

‘It is an expensive training and there is an assignment at the end which you have to complete…’

Assignment? Really? I haven’t really heard that word since college. I try to control my impulse to hang my head. I just nod.

‘Okay, Priya. That was it.’

Really? He asked me into a meeting room for this?

The question must have shown on my face. Shan’s smirk transforms and a smirk-smile takes its place. Let me tell you, the transformation is only a slight improvement.

‘Priya, if you don’t mind, can I ask you something?’

‘Ummm..’, I hesitate. Tread carefully Pri. ‘Ya, okay’.

For a brief fraction of a second, the smile component in his smirk-smile beats the smirk component.

‘I just want to ask if you are alright?’

‘Sure, I am alright!’, huh?

‘Priya… I heard about what happened in Ri.. Karthik’s award dinner…’

Ohhhh… That was two days ago and I have been having nightmares about it. To top that, Karthik has been really busy and I have only been speaking to him over phone and I have to tell you, although I know he is very busy and all that, I still feel a slight panic like I am vulnerable for whatever idiotic reason. Man, no wonder people made a big deal about losing one’s virginity. I needed some form of reassurance from Karthik for whatever unknown reason that had its roots in anthropology. And, to top all that, I have been talking to my mother for not more than two minutes everytime she calls and I have successfully avoided talking to my dad at all. Seriously, the conditioning these people have subjected me to, Tamil culture and all that.

‘Priya?’, Shan breaks through my not-so-great thoughts.

I take a deep breath to calm myself.

‘Yeah, I am alright. Did Karthik tell you?’

Shan chuckles. I see it real-live, so I have to believe he can chuckle.

‘As if, Karthik is someone who is very very adept in keeping every part of his life completely separate. He doesn’t mix up home, relationships, work, friends, parents etc, he keeps everything separate’

Hmmm. I did not know this about him. But I… Damn, I have to get rid of this feeling of something missing and wrong I have been feeling since the day I woke up after the award show and haven’t been able to meet Karthik in two days since.

‘Then?’

‘His parents told me. Rather, they wanted to ask me how I could let this happen and also not so subtly asked me about you. They seem to be thinking you have some ulterior motive’

I sigh.

‘Don’t worry, I put in a good word for you. Also Karthik hasn’t been home much, he is busy with work, but his parents think he is wantedly avoiding them so wanted me to talk to him’

I ponder on sharing my real thoughts on this, something along the lines of not caring what his parents thought or did. I know though that I am just feeling it now because the other day still stings.

So I keep quiet.

‘That bad huh?’, Shan asks.

‘Not really’,  I say.

‘I know uncle and aunty. Both are very straight forward’.

That is one way to put it.

‘Yep. They are’

‘Priya, I want you to know, I support you. They asked me and I told them I support you’

Wow. Where did this come from? Wait, it is good he supports me. But really, why does it matter? Or should I take it as a good sign that Karthik’s parents reached out to Shan? Ugh. Everything is complicated. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

Shan smiles for the first time ever at me.

‘We have all been observing Karthik, he had become a workaholic. We would have to do a lot of finagling to get him to meet us. That is changing. I used to wish it were because of someone else, but it is you. He isn’t obsessed like the last time.. This is good for him.’

I heard only one sentence from that mini-speech. Karthik was obsessed the last time? As in Deepika last time? I probably shouldn’t care but where is said obsession now? There were definitely some good points about me there. Who cares? He was obsessed?

‘Ohhhh’, I say lamely.

‘Anyways, I will send you details on the training and the new project as well. Okay?’

‘Yup, sure.’

I have been stuck with an issue for a day now and all the googling in the world hasn’t helped. I spoke to people and they don’t have a clue too. I even resorted to raising a bug against the software we are using in the hopes they would give a way how to do it to not fix the bug and to hasten the process I posted in their public forum. That hasn’t helped, yet. So I am looking forward to anything at all, work wise or any-wise.

So, I do the most sensible thing and begin obsessing about Karthik. I call him, he doesn’t answer. I text him, no response.  

I look at the new project, it is some company trying to sell ebooks and audio books. Really? This late in the game? Just because I helped with the library product, did they think I became a book expert of any sort? The last book I read was in my teens and it was the Chicken soup for teenage soul.

Now I go back to checking the issue, but the only issue is I cannot concentrate. After several minutes of pretending to try to concentrate, I give up. Fuck it. I am done for the day. It is not like I am going to get any award in this year. Karthik is the award-winning type. Shit.

I just leave and as an afterthought, drop a mail to Shan saying I am not feeling well and leaving for the day, which he would definitely know is a lie and probably would end up reconsidering his not-important-support. Life is a vicious circle, believe you me.

I reach home and call Anitha. She says she will try to come home early. I switch off my phone and decide to sleep. So that is what I do.

When I wake up it is because the air conditioner in my room has long gone off, as evidenced by the not so light perspiration I am covered in and I realize there has been a power cut. The bower back up should have kicked in, but the air conditioner probably wouldn’t be linked to that source. So I get up and switch on the fan and open some windows. I test the water in the bathroom pipe, it is scorching hot. Okay, no point showering now. I go in search of something cool to drink and luckily find some smoothie type of thing in a jug. Lucky because I invited Anitha to be my roommate, Anitha being the type of girl who made juices and smoothies and lived by some code of standards she set for herself. She is almost obsessive about these things, wait, she is obsessive about everything.

After I finish with half a jug of the smoothie which had banana in it so really couldn’t taste anything else, I go into the kitchen and find the tender coconut we had gotten the day before. It is the fresh one sliced off at the top and with a bit more slicing and picking at it, I should be able to get to the coconut water. Unfortunately we do not have any sharp and big knifes or the small sickle type things that the tender coconut vendor people use. I take my not so sharp but sturdy kitchen knife and hack at the top.

After spilling a little bit of blood and screaming bloody murder during the process, I succeed in extracting the cool water from the tender coconut. I prioritize, drink it while washing off the blood on my left index finger under the hot water from the sink. We do not have a central water heating boiler or heater. It is just the result of midday sun’s happy activity. I find some band-aid to cover the cut, but realize that the cut is bigger for one band-aid and from the looks of it, I need at least three of them. I douse a lot of anti-septic liquid on it while crying at the sting and wrap a white bandage around it after placing a cotton swab. The bleeding hasn’t entirely stopped but looks like I am good at this bandage wrapping thing. Good to know. Also, there went half our supply of first-aid (which my mother bought and forcibly packed and ensured I kept it in an easily reachable spot). I need to top up on that now.

I know I should have eaten lunch but I wasn’t hungry and besides, in this heat, lunch is overrated, I mean, digestion process generated more heat in the body, who would want that when the temperature is nearing a forty degrees?

The wi-fi isn’t connected to the back-up power source and the cable was situated in a corner where there can never be air of any sort at any time. So I go browse Anitha’s book collection. I expected her to have romances and suspenses.

What I found were lot of self-help books, books on focusing the mind, on healthy mind, meditation and stuff, self-control, there were some philosophical books etc. There should be some story there, if she read all these books all the time and they were not those books advising on how to be successful. I would like to know but I am not the type that pries until really needed. I pick a book on focus, I mean, really I needed to do that.

I read about the author, the brief introduction in the back, the author’s note, some reviews on the book and the author and the list of famous people who have found the book to be useful. I read the acknowledgements. I mean, books? Not my type. Self-help books? I mentally scoff at myself for attempting. So that is how Anitha finds me, dozing on the couch, my tank top ridden up to expose my not-so-flat tummy, the book on my chest open and face-down, my wounded arm carefully lifted up and away resting above my head on the armrest and god knows where my other arm is.

‘Oh my god. Are you alright? That is a huge bandage.’, is her first reaction when I open one eye and try to focus it on her.

Ohh.. Is it? Maybe I overdid it? I bring my hand to inspect and it looked proportional to the size of the cut and there was now dried blood on it. Okay, looks like it wasn’t really a minor cut. On hindsight, the knife wasn’t very sharp, so for my finger to bleed so much it must have been a deep cut and I must have put a lot of force into the whole cutting process, that does not result in small cuts. Great looking bandage though, with the dried blood and all that. I can milk this.

‘Well, I was trying to cut open the tender coconut.’

‘You used the knife?’

‘Yes.’

‘I was going to borrow the sickle from our neighbour’

‘You know to use it?’

‘I was going to ask Naren or someone else to do it.’

Ohh. Well. I shrug.

‘Are you alright?’

‘I think so’

Anitha shakes her head.

‘You really need someone to take care of you, don’t you?’

Huh? Not really. I just glare at her. Okay, so I cut myself, I took care of it. I didn’t bleed all over the place and call her for help or an ambulance. I didn’t need someone to take care of me.

‘Did it help?’, she asks next pointing at the book.

‘I read that lot of famous people found it useful.’

Anitha smiles and sits down on the chair next to the couch. I get up and adjust my attire.

I pick up the bottle of water wedged between me and the couch and hand it to her.

‘Are you alright?’, she asks me.

‘Yup. Just no mood to work’

She looks at me for a beat and nods.

‘You want to go to Ishitha’s place?’

‘I was thinking of checking up on Bala’

‘We could do both. It is not even five’

So I shower, get ready, put on an oversized tee shirt belted around waist and a pair of palazzos that went together only if you really wanted them to. I put on Ishitha’s bracelet. I leave my phone behind, after switching it on and finding no messages or calls. I needed a break from it.

We reach Ishitha’s place. We tell her we intend to visit Bala. She seems to have been working on something for her advertising agency and was stuck and wanted to get away. She worked from home most of the days and went into the office only for meetings or if she isn’t able to do things from home or if she was bored and needed a change of scene.

Since Ishitha needed a break from her place, we all head to Bala’s place.

Bala isn’t doing any rehearsing of any sort, even though I was supposed to see him rehearse, he had been to a party the previous day and had gotten piss-drunk and had been nursing a hangover the whole day and wanted to get some air.

So we decided to go to the beach even though the beach was quite far from Bala’s place. Anitha gets a call and we hear her inviting someone over to join the beach. I look at her in question.

‘It is Ishwarya, from the New Year’s party? She wanted to hang out.’

‘Oh cool.’

Around that time Bala gets a call and he invites someone over too.

‘That was?’, Anitha asks.

‘Aravind. He wanted to hang out.’

‘Okay cool’.

Ishitha looks at us with a question.

‘The writer guy’, I explain.

‘Ahhh, the show-off’

Yup.

Everyone nods agreeably.

We reach the beach and Ishwarya is already there. Bala buys and eats everything that is there on the beach while we look at him questioning our decision to bring him along.

Anitha and I introduce Ishitha and Ishwarya and just point Bala out to her. WE decided to wait for him to get over his eating disorder probably caused by the excessive alcohol from the previous day.

Aravind arrives in some time and introduces himself to everyone and seems to look very impressed with Ishwarya. He already offered to buy her some ice-cream.

Once Bala is back, we all head to the actual shore line and stand in knee deep water and effectively get wet much higher with the waves. Come on, you don’t swim in Chennai’s public beaches. Besides, I don’t know swimming.

The evening feels cool probably because we are at the shore but also there is a breeze which has begun to get cooler. I forget about everything and just enjoy chasing the waves. The breeze kind of gains strength and the winds pick up.

I look at my now wet bandage and realize the fresh sting is from all the salt water and the sand. Shit. That is stupid.

‘I think I need to wash this.’, I tell Anitha. She looks at my bandage and freaks out.

‘Priyaaaa. I forgot too. I am so sorry, you need to wash it immediately. Let me come with you’

‘That’s okay. I will just get a bottle of mineral water and do it.’

She nods. I start walking away.

After few steps I hear someone calling out my name. I turn back to see Bala following me.

He jogs the last few feet when I stop and joins me.

‘Phew. Are you alright?’

I show him my hand.

He chuckles. ‘You are a bit of an idiot’, he gives his opinion unasked.

Since I don’t have a comeback, I smile.

‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah, why do you ask?’

‘You have been very silent’

‘Have I? Really?’

‘Yep’, he smiles. Belatedly, I realize he has a dimple on his left cheek alone.

‘I never noticed that one sided dimple before’

‘Really? It has been there forever. Part of my charm.’

I laugh. ‘What charm? The charm of you eating three plates of bhajjis?’

‘Okay, we won’t talk about charm today.’

We walk in silence.

We soon see a shop which had mineral water. I ask for a bottle and Bala insists on buying. I don’t get it. I couldn’t win the argument so I let him buy.

I open the bandage and find some sand inside it.

‘Wow. How did you get that?’

‘Self-inflicted’, I say and his eyes widen.

‘Here, let me pour the water, you clean it. Also, you need another bandage and you need to leave.’

‘Yup.’

With his help, I get the wound cleaned. I borrow his phone to call Anitha. I ask her to remain and inform her that I will go back home. Even though I ask Bala to get back to the group he doesn’t. He insists on accompanying me back home.

I feel slightly awkward at his announcement. He calls for a cab and we leave.

After debating internally on how to tell him am not available, given the fact that diplomacy is not my strong suite. I go at it directly.

‘So Bala, do you have a girlfriend?’

Bala looks mildly shocked and I realize how I must have sounded.

‘Nope. I don’t’, he says.

‘Ohhh… You know I have a boyfriend right?’, yup, I am very adept at these things.

Bala looks mildly shocked again, but doesn’t say anything.

‘Ummm…. I…’, how do I explain further?

‘You think I am trying something here?’, he asks, amused.

I nod. He chuckles self-consciously.

‘I know you have a boyfriend, I saw him. I just… Well, I..’, he pauses. ‘I just think you are great and I like hanging out with you and I find you very easy to be with. I am sure everyone feels it.’

Huh? I don’t think so. I had very few friends growing up. After my friend Swathi moved from India, I didn’t even attempt to mingle with others, I didn’t believe I could make good friends, until I moved out of my parents’ place.

‘Forget I said anything.. Just I…’

‘I get it. You must be used to guys hitting on you all the time’

I laugh.

‘Guys don’t hit on me. At all.’

‘Probably because they get confused’

‘Confused?’

‘Yeah, you are very unreadable. I mean, you are open and all that, but it is extremely unclear whether you are interested or not.’

Huh? Wasn’t Karthik telling me all the time that he can see most of what I am thinking?

‘I am sure Karthik would disagree’

‘Yep, that is why he is your boyfriend’, Bala says, giving me free relationship insight.

I smile.

We reach my place. He leaves because let’s face it, we were dragging beach sand everywhere and I wanted to get rid of my clothes, soak in clean water and change, he must be feeling it too.

I go up to my apartment. I shower for the third time and use my first aid kit for the second time. I change into a comfortable white tank top and uber-big and comfortable yellow pyjama bottoms. Anitha had promised to get me dinner so all I need is to relax.

I feel something is off and realize my phone is still off and I don’t have it in my hand. No sooner I switch it on I get texts on all the calls I missed and an actual text message from Karthik that he will be in ten minutes which was sent about ten minutes ago, so he should be here anytime. I see my mom has called and so has Karthik, several times. I hear my doorbell in few minutes.

I go to open it and Karthik enters, wearing a white tee shirt and dark blue jeans. He looks tired.

‘Hi’, I smile at him.

‘I am sorry’, he says entering.

‘For?’

‘I was so damn busy, there was an issue we didn’t know how to fix’

‘Tell me about it’, I didn’t know how to fix the issue at my work too. Although I am sure mine wasn’t a pressing issue.

‘Fix it?’

‘Nope. But found a solution’

‘Cool’

‘You okay? Anitha told me you took the day off’

‘Nope. I didn’t. I just took the second half off’

Karthik chuckles.

‘I don’t think I am a fan of you and Anitha being such good friends that you call her and all that’

‘I wouldn’t have to call her if your phone was on’

‘Well.. Yeah, some problem with the battery’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah.. of course’

Karthik and I had settled on the couch. He pulls me towards him.

‘Anitha spoke a lot. She had a few things to say to me.’

‘Ohhh’

He picks up my wounded hand. ‘You should be careful’, he says softly pressing around the bandage.

I nod. He picks up my hand and kisses it.

‘I am sorry, it wasn’t intentional, and I really got busy’

‘It’s okay.’

‘Apparently, it wasn’t okay’

I sigh.

‘It is okay now’, Bala set me right.

‘You don’t want to talk about it?’

‘Nope.’

‘Okay. I don’t know what to do with you then’

I raise my eyebrows at him. ‘I came prepared to beg, mope and cry for forgiveness’.

‘Why?’

‘I know how your brain works’, he doesn’t, I hope not. ‘Okay, I don’t, but I have experience in dealing with women, and given the fact that you were calling me and I wasn’t really talking well and with Anitha filling in the gaps…..’

Ugh. Not a good thing to bring that up though.

Karthik chuckles. He of course knew I am feeling a tiny bit jealous.

‘So Anitha is bringing dinner?’, he asks.

‘Yeah. We should tell her to get some for you as well.’

‘Texting…’, he says and texts her.

‘What do you want to do now?’

‘You want to watch some movie?’, I ask him.

‘Sure, why not?’, he says, combing through my wet hair with his fingers.

So we do just that and this is an entirely new experience because I never sat that close to anyone and he didn’t seem to mind that a little more and I would be on him, not next to him.

Later, much later, after Anitha has come in with burgers for us and after she showers and joins us and we all eat together and Anitha goes into the room with a book in hand, Karthik hugs me, kisses me and as is his habit, drops a bomb at the most unsuspecting of moments.

‘My parents want to meet yours.’

Episode 32

‘Am really worried. What are your parents saying? Are they okay with meeting me at your award thing?’, I ask Karthik, hoping that they got angry and said they wouldn’t attend. It was evening and he luckily could get away early from work and he stopped by before I could go do my work. He mentioned he is going to pick his parents up for tomorrow’s event and I had to make arrangements to reach there while he would drop me back home. I had to ask because I am a sensible person unlike Karthik who seems to think all is well in God’s green earth.

‘They said if I was a good son, I wouldn’t invite you’, he says, coolly, as if that isn’t a grand declaration. His parents are really into drama and declarations. I kind of understand, I mean, when all else fails, you make grand declarations, it might work.

‘You are not alarmed by that?’

‘I know they need time. I am letting them meet you in a public setting where they have to behave. It might or might not spoil their enjoyment of me achieving something, but they would behave. So it is actually a better time for you to meet them.’

More of their dramatic declarations coming out. Right. Is it his mom or dad? Must be mom. She looks like someone who loves drama.

‘You should probably take it slow. Let them stew on this for a little while longer and then do this, it might be too soon.’, I try, I have to, I am not the boldest person on earth, besides I am right too.

Karthik looks mildly irritated.

‘Priya, really? Because you are scared?’

‘Yeah, also why spoil your day?’

Karthik takes a deep breath, visibly relaxing or trying to.

‘I worked hard. I deserve the award. I am proud of it. I am proud of receiving the award, yes. I am not very keen in the huge ceremony which is essential for my company as that’s the way my company honors its employees and also a good chance to get all the good ones together. So, that is not really my day. What is important is that you meet my parents, they see how you are, they see how you are with me and they probably understand or they don’t. But we need to make that effort. That is the whole point.’

‘Okay’, I mean what do you say to that? A lot of things to think, but nothing to say.

‘Okay?’

‘Yep. I get it. Okay.’

He shakes his head.

‘I can’t decide whether to shout at you or laugh or just shake you. This is serious.’

Like I don’t know.

‘Why do you have to make that decision?’

‘You don’t know?’

I just shrug.

‘You are naïve, which is fine, you were protected, spoiled and literally lived in your own world. You are also very immature, which again I understand, for all the above reasons. But, you need to grow up, if not completely, enough to know when things are important, you have to act. It might not work, but you need to do something. It’s like a whole generation happened in the five years separating us. I am pretty sure I was not like you or even your whole gang when I was twenty five. I am just wondering how a gap exists just in the span of five years!’, he even brings his left index finger and thumb together to show how small the span is.

I am sorry? Me and my whole gang is immature? We are, probably. But he wasn’t like that? We were both sitting on my couch, and because of the already hot weather, we were sipping water melon juice which I made from a whole fruit and put it in the fridge. I was reclined on the sofa my legs on the nearby smaller chair. He was sitting next to me facing me, his one leg folded under him. As I sit there listening to him, I turn to him and straighten.

‘I know am not mature.’, I mean what is the hurry?.

‘But I know what is important and what isn’t. It is true that the possibility of meeting your parents doesn’t thrill me. But, you should really consider what you are doing. I want to be there. I want to see people praise you. I want to share that moment. I am really really proud of you. But, if my presence is going to cause trouble or possibly damage, I don’t want to cause that. I might not explain my reasons as clearly as you do, but doesn’t mean I don’t think. Seriously, if only you could get off your high horse!’

I try to come up with trivial reasons true, but have I ever acted like important things are trivial?

‘You said wearing a saree would help’, he says.

Really? The mind boggles. He took that serious? All my rants about being worried this might be a bad idea isn’t taken seriously?

‘I was worried. I was just saying that. I know what I wear isn’t going to make a difference. I know it really doesn’t matter. God, you think I am naïve, I am not. You think I am ignorant, I am not and to the extent you imagine at least. But you also seem to think I don’t have a brain and I don’t know how to use what little I have. Stop doing it and think from my perspective for two minutes.’

Karthik’s eyes widen, in all our days I haven’t seen his eyes widen. Hmmm. Seriously?

I also tend to downplay things at times. Maybe I need to play it as it is. I decide to glare at him. This isn’t a moment to downplay.

‘You know what, you should leave, let me calm down. I will see you tomorrow at the award thing. I have work to do.’

‘Priya…’, he sounds coaxing.

‘I have to meet Bala, he is rehearsing.’

He sighs. I square my shoulders in resolution.

‘Where is it? I will drop you there.’

‘Nope, I will call a cab or take an auto.’

‘I will drop you’, apparently that’s it.

So we leave. I have been to Bala’s rehearsals three times now. Ishitha is way too talented if you ask me. She has made almost 8-9 pieces of jewelry and I want all of them. I wouldn’t know how difficult was it to make, was there any unique technique involved, but I want them. They were not entirely new or unique, but there was something different about them. With my colleagues interested, she should probably has to make more. Anitha is still breaking her head over the pricing. She priced few of the pieces then realized she herself wouldn’t buy them at that rate and now is trying to find a balance.

Bala on the other hand isn’t confident and gets nervous about playing to anyone he doesn’t know well and I am still not sure if he is really talented or not. He was pretty good with the guitar when I first heard him and then something happened. Not that I am an expert or anything, just that I have ears and have had my own stint at music where I tried to learn to sing between the ages of twelve to fourteen and got myself trained. So what I am is not tone-deaf and I have a basic understanding of what could be. What I did observe is with a lot, I mean a lot of encouragement, he seems to get a little bit better.

I am here, clueless, unsure what to do. I wish I had that one thing that I have that could keep me going no matter what. I probably do have, I am yet to find it. So I can do my bit. Apparently, today I get to do my bit while Karthik drops me while we are in a snit.

‘I know you are not brainless. I mean obviously. It is just that every day at home I listen to my parents chewing my ears and….’, Karthik says, after a long bout of silence. It was unbearable and I was almost giving into the pressure of making some conversation because of the unbearability of it.

I give him a look, a quelling look, but there seems to be no quelling happening.

‘I don’t know whether it is a good idea. But I really think it is the best chance for you to meet them and them actually observing or listening. Anywhere else, they might not make the effort. The way they are now…’, he adds.

I take my time responding. I am pretty sure that this will be a disaster and I will do everything in my power to salvage the situation. Finally I reply on a nod, not that he can see me as he is busy driving.

‘Okay. I don’t think it is a good idea, I am putting this out there. I also kinda understand why you think it is a good idea. So I will support you, because I am not completely immature’, I even attempt a joke, imitating his tone.

Karthik though only sighs.

‘I am not doing many things right these days am I?’

Yup, yet another way of apologizing without actually apologizing. Seriously, why can’t he just say sorry? Is it a guy thing?

‘Apology accepted’, I keep at it.

He grins.

‘So, is Bala any good?’, he enquires, sounding expectant and hoping I would say no.

I chuckle. ‘I don’t know. He is confusing. He was good the first time I heard him. He played classic Ilayaraja a fusion of western and Indian. I wish he knew how to play violin.’

‘So this is your thing now? You and Anitha seem to have adopted that girl who makes jewelry, wooden’, clearly expressing his views on wooden jewelry. He is such a snob.

‘Hey, wooden jewelry is good. It is very in. So is glass.’

Karthik makes a mild version of disgusted face. I can literally hear him think, junk!

‘All the best’, he says when we reach Bala’s place. I nod, he said All the best, but he sounds like he meant careful. Seriously!

I go to Bala’s small apartment which he shares with his younger brother and the other actor guy who came to the meeting. Their house isn’t too shabby. This is the first time I am here without Anitha and I am slightly uncomfortable. I wait by their open door as I can hear him playing keyboards, another old song by Ilayaraja and it sounded decent. I knock on the door and go in.

Bala is playing of course and he immediately looks nervous on seeing me and stops. I have no clue what to do about that.

‘Hey that was pretty good. You should play that.’

‘Hi Priya’, is all he says.

This isn’t going to go well.

‘Do you have any other pieces that you are that comfortable with?’

‘Yeah. You want to hear them?’, he asks, getting up, going to the nearby fridge and getting me a bottle of water. The bottle looks like it has seen too many days.

‘Sure’

‘Okay, this one? This one I played a lot in my college days, I used to love this one.’, he says and plays another Ilayaraja tune, in fact one of his best from Punnagai Mannan.

He was pretty good. A couple of notes sounded off, but, decent.

‘That was nice.’

‘This one? This used to be my ex’s favorite’

‘Ex huh?’

He chuckles, ‘Yup. Used to ask me to play all the time. It was fun.’, he says and goes on to play another one.

‘You should listen to this one. Ahh.. the stories this song has…’ and so he goes.

Okay, so he is able to play songs with stories in them comfortably.

‘You should do this you know. Talk to people, tell them the stories while you play.’

‘Really? Why would I do that? Why would people even want to listen to these stories?’

Ahh.. Back to the problem. There lies the problem.

‘Why not? They are memories for you and you seem to cherish them, even an ex’s story. So you are doing more than just playing these tunes.’

‘I still don’t think it would work.’

‘You got nervous as soon as you saw me. But when you started telling me about it, you got comfortable and weren’t at all’

‘I don’t know…. ‘

‘Just saying. Upto you.’, I don’t know him from Adam or anything.

So after a long time of him playing things and me listening encouragingly when he played things on the whole and getting bored alternatively when he was practicing and tuning some portions, he asks,

‘What do you think?’

‘Pretty good. You decided on five minutes right? Come up with a list? You want to do more?’

‘Nope. Five minutes should do. More than enough’

‘Hey, relax. It is not a big audience. Half the people probably won’t even know if you missed a note. You are doing it just for fun right?’

He nods.

‘See you later?’, I say getting up.

He moves to me and again does the no-contact hug thing and I return it this time.

‘Thanks Priya. I know I am not..’

‘Dude chill. We are all trying to do something and have fun doing it. You shouldn’t take it so seriously’, I say, hoping this would calm his nerves.

He nods again.

I come back home to see Anitha just lounging on the sofa with a yellowish face mask on her face.

‘How did it go? Is Bala comfortable now? Did he at least improve?’

‘God no. He is still nervous. I hope he doesn’t back out.’

I flop down next to her.

‘What’s this on your face?’

‘Too much sun today. Trying to calm the skin’

If only I had her patience and care.

‘So how nervous are you?’, she asks moving her lips as less as possible.

‘Umm.. what?’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Ugh yeah. I shouldn’t be nervous. I need to meditate and be calm. Like reaching nirvana calm. I have to handle his parents properly.’

‘You meditate?’, she asks.

‘Of course not. I need to’

‘Thank god, all is right in the world again.’

‘Right. You are hilarious you know’, I add sarcastically.

‘You need to apply this mask too. You look dull’

‘God no. It stinks.’

‘Hey, it’s just sour curd’

‘Yup. No way.’

‘Suit yourself.’

I nod. ‘So, let me make dinner. That should be like meditating’, I declare.

She laughs, trying not to laugh given the gunk on her face, shaking her head, of course cooking and I aren’t best of friends; we were more like frenemies.

 ‘You concentrate on something to not think about anything else and you just want to get it done so you can move on right? It’s practically the same thing’, I say.

Anitha laughs. I am funny I guess.

*****************************************************************************

So Anitha and I are in a cab and on the way to this banquet hall in a five star hotel. We are both dressed to the nines. I have to admit, I am feeling extremely confident given that I look pretty good in the saree. The golden creamy shade flatters me and I look brighter and given the shine of the saree I was made up to the nines as well. It wasn’t very dramatic, it wasn’t my usual understated make up either. I had straightened my hair and left it at that with a few strands pulled along the left side with a golden clip. Anitha though is just beautiful. She looks uber-elegant.

My phone rings, I open my clutch and check the display, it is Karthik.

‘Hey’, I sound uber-nervous as one tends to sound.

‘Hey. We reached here. Where are you guys?’

‘On the way.’

‘We will reach in fifteen mins’, Anitha prompts her eyes on the map app on her phone.

‘Anitha says fifteen mins’

‘Okay. Call me when you reach, I will come and get you. Yeah?’

This is the third time I have listened to this statement.

‘Ya okay Karthik. I will call’, I dutifully reply.

‘Pri’, he says.

‘Yep’

I hear him breath deep. ‘Okay, just get here’

‘Karthik, it is going to be alright’, I assure something that isn’t in my hands at all. See? I am good at this relationship stuff.

I hang up and sigh. Karthik is nervous. Imagine me.

‘It will be alright’, Anitha also assures something she has no control on.

I smile.

‘You look beautiful, radiant. They are going to take one look at you and understand’.

Right, I wish the world worked that way for me. Alas, that is Anitha’s world.

We reach the venue and I call him as instructed multiple times. We wait in the reception area and are welcomed by his colleagues over and over again. One guy even hits on Anitha and she treats him like a naughty kid. I am nervous and I feel a chill owing to the very fine layer of perspiration on my body.

‘Hi Pri’, I hear Karthik as well as feel his hand on my triceps from behind.

Karthik’s eyes have obviously observed me because they hold the best look he has ever worn. They look intense, completely focused on me, a gleam in them that appears and disappears alternatively and I turn towards him almost involuntarily and place both my palms on his chest.

Karthik breaks eye contact while I still gape at him and I hear him make conversation with Anitha.

‘Hi Anitha. Wow, you look good’, he says.

‘Hi Karthik. You look good yourself.’, Anitha says in a gross understatement.

Karthik is wearing a suit in the deepest navy blue I have seen, a white shirt and a tie of a very deep purple that it almost looks black under the dull lighting. His hair is slicked back with a good deal of gel. For all the gentlemanly look, he still carries a slight shadow of beard on his cheeks and against the slick hair, this is the sexiest look on him, yet. Karthik always dresses well and always looked good. But man, apparently I have a thing for suits.

While I have been making these mental observations, Anitha is laughing.

I turn to her and raise my eye brows.

‘Pri, you look smitten, like you have never seen anything like that before.’

I probably do look like that. I look back to Karthik and see the intense-gleamy eyes focused on me again now with a hint of humor and let me tell you, if it were you, you wouldn’t have looked away, but I did, with great difficulty.

Anitha walks ahead. I move my hands to turn and follow her but at the last moment Karthik’s left hand curls around my right.

‘You are a vision Pri. You look amazing. I have no words, I hope we are in a place where public displays of affection is acceptable’, his eyes still intense-gleamy but a softness in them now. Okay, this is even more difficult to look away from.

Ohhhhh.

‘Thanks. You look amazing too. I mean.. very sexy’, I say, managing to move my hands away.

That is when he grins and I struggle to look away from that too. He shakes his head and offers his arm so that we can make a move.

‘I think you need a lot of orange juice’, he says, obviously having felt my sweaty palm when he held it.

‘Don’t you dare Karthik. No juice’.

The man just chuckles.

We enter the banquet hall and I disengage my hand from his arm. I don’t want to cause a riot or something. There is a dais with brilliant lighting and some kind of slow music in the background. The hall is huge with round tables artfully scattered and people dressed to the nines seated all around.

Anitha who has been waiting at the entrance joins us and Karthik leads us to a table.

A table where his parents were seated and were looking at the dais with an expression of boredom. His mother first turns to us and when her eyes reaches mine I could literally see boredom make a haste getaway for arctic winds. I try a tentative smile but she just looks away.

I look ahead to see Karthik’s dad and I give myself a mental kick for having forgotten how imposing he can be.

‘Dad, mom, you know Priya. This is Anitha, her friend and room mate’, he smiles, waves his arm towards Anitha.

Anitha sits next to Mrs.Pramilla braving the chills. Karthik pulls out a chair for me opposite to her and pulls another one between me and his dad. There were a couple of seats between me and Anitha. I give big eyes to Anitha. This seems like a statement. She agrees with me and gives me bigger eyes.

‘How are you aunty? Uncle?’, I ask.

Karthik’s father Ranganath, looks directly at me for the first time. I feel a slight shiver along my spine area. I am telling you, I am a complete scaredy-cat.

‘Fine’, he says, his tone very undecipherable, I mean, is he disgusted, irritated or plain resigned? Eloquence runs in the family.

‘Aunty?’, I ask, I have entered the den, why hold back? Might as well pull on the whiskers.

‘Fine’, she says. Okay.

‘Let me get you guys drinks’, he says looking at me and Anitha, ‘You want anything mom?’, he asks pushing back his chair.

I communicate to him mentally not to get me his version of orange juice. He smiles just a little bit. Great.

I watch him leave and turn back to his mother.

‘You must be very proud of him isn’t it? The only person to get this award this year.’, there, that was flattering but neutral.

‘Yes, we are very proud. That is why we are here for him’, she says.

Oops, danger.

‘You do have courage. You wouldn’t give any of us a second when we wanted to talk to you and here you are’, his father declares, resting both the elbows on the table and joining the tip of his hands and looking at me with his version of intense eyes which was very scary. Karthik looks a lot like him.

There is only one way to handle this and that is to go head on.

‘I am truly sorry for what I did back then uncle. It wasn’t intended. I should have handled it better, I didn’t, I am sorry aunty. I realize that now and I can do better.’

I look at both of them.

Karthik’s father just scoffs.

‘We are here because he asked us to. We want our son to be happy. But we don’t think he will be happy with you. Someone who changes her mind on a whim and doesn’t care about consequences. Someone who is so selfish that she doesn’t care about her own parents. Someone who is so unsure , someone who is into so many other things that she could never give her all for him or his family. Our son deserves someone better’

Wow. What do I say to that? I look at Anitha. Anitha was running the risk of tearing the muscles that help her eyes in place, her eyes were unbelievably wide and she was gaping at the imposing Mr.Ranganath.

‘You have to let me explain. It is not how you think it is…’

‘You might have your reasons, but they don’t matter. Karthik, well, he is just being Karthik. He got over the other girl, he will get over you too.’, his mother interjects.

I remain silent. It looks like they needed to get things off their system. I let them.

‘Don’t think for a second that we came here so we are going to accept you. We don’t want to miss this, not because of you.’

I nod lamely.

‘You know, you could have changed your mind just a day before and spared us all the insult and the expense and the explanation we had to give to every person we know’, the ball is back in uncle’s court.

‘I…’

‘Nope, you are brainless and uncaring, you had to decide that day’, aunty now. Did they rehearse?

‘How did this even happen? What is he thinking? I just don’t see why he would like you..’, uncle now.

Karthik has gone to the lab to manufacture water and aerate it, make ice, make a soda drink and then manufacture fancy glasses and then fill them in and get us the drinks. He is going to take a lot of time.

‘I will just be back, I need to use the washroom’, Anitha says and makes her escape.

‘You know, he didn’t even invite his friends. He invited you and that friend of yours. I just don’t get it..’, aunty begins again.

‘He…’

‘He probably invited her for her’, uncle adds on a scoff while pointing at me on the second her.

‘I…’

‘Look, we are here for our son. We just want to see him get the award.’, aunty cuts in.

Okay. I try very very hard to swallow tears of indignation that have been threatening to fall for sometime now.

Never, never has anyone spoken to me like this.

I look for Karthik and see him holding two glasses in his hands but talking to a couple of men, probably important people from work, his eyes meet mine and wander off and meet mine yet again and he gives me a nod and dips his head as if to say sorry, will be there soon.

I turn back to see Karthik’s father watching this silent exchange.

‘I just don’t get how that boy believes you will keep this up till the end. He should think what he has to do if you change your mind, again.’, aunty feels like clarifying the situation.

‘Well, she has parents who will support her no matter what. She wouldn’t have a problem at all’, uncle adds his bit.

Okay, that’s it.

‘I know I didn’t do right. I have been feeling guilty. I probably deserve to hear most of what you said. I did wrong, so I will listen. My parents will stand by me because they love me and trust me. I… I will stand by Karthik no matter what. You are his parents, I would love to have your acceptance and blessings. I am sorry. I did few things which I myself didn’t understand. I don’t expect you to understand and forgive. I don’t expect anything of you, except to give me the opportunity to get you to trust me, to trust Karthik, that he is doing what he feels right.’

‘We..’

‘I did not want to come today, for precisely this reason. I came here for Karthik, yes, I also came for you. I had a right to say no to the engagement, I just didn’t do it in a way that didn’t insult anyone. That is on me, I am not sure what I can do to rectify it. Karthik understands. If you can’t, maybe you can trust your son that he wouldn’t do something that he doesn’t believe in. He has a lot of admirable qualities, but what really drew me to him is the fact that he never did anything that he didn’t believe in. Do you think, your son, will be with someone if he believed that she insulted him intentionally?’

‘Well…’, uncle started saying something, but Karthik came back around that time.

‘Here you go!’, he says, places what looks like cranberry juice in two tall glasses on the table. At this point I would haven’t minded if it wasn’t a virgin cranberry.

He sits next to me and grabs my hand under the table which I had unconsciously fisted under the table and around the saree probably crushing the material beyond repair.

‘Where is Anitha?’, he asks now.

‘Anitha seems to be cultured. She seems to know when she isn’t needed’, adds Karthik’s mother. Okay, today I learnt I am also uncultured. Great!

I turn to look at Karthik whose face had gone completely blank, cold and stone-like. Oh no. This isn’t going to go down well. I twist my hand in his from in his hand to around and squeeze it to communicate that he has to maintain his calm.

‘I brought Priya because I wanted her here. She was worried and didn’t want to, because she predicted this is how you will act. But I told her that you wouldn’t.’

‘Yeah..’, she starts but Karthik doesn’t let her.

‘I explained everything to you. I explained that this is serious that she means a lot to me. I understand you are angry and you might be justified in your anger. But from what I saw from there and from what I see on Priya’s face, it is obvious that you only managed to express your anger and did not attempt to understand anything that is going on here.’

I panic. I don’t want him to say anything he will regret later.

 ‘I respect you guys, I understand that you are still angry. So, you will please let us know when you are ready to know her, us, for what we really are.’

Wow. Karthik, so direct. Good to know it is not just with me.

My mouth drops open. If I had any doubts at all about Karthik, they just vanish as a kind of epiphany steals through me. Karthik, I can always trust, I can always count on. Similarly, his parents can trust and count on him too. He didn’t declare that they were wrong and make things worse, he calmly just told it as it is, he didn’t make a big deal of them behaving this way, because he understood them, but he also didn’t let me take it and showed his support as clearly as possible. I have to tell you, I am really proud of him and I show that by squeezing his hand more.

I look at his mother first who looks taken aback and then look at his father who also has a blank face. Blank face also runs in the family.

I feel like I should say something when I take a breath Karthik’s hand gives mine another squeeze, so I keep quiet.

Anitha joins in a few and this time she sits next to me. Karthik releases my hand and I go for the cranberry juice and taste it to know it is only cranberry, not even a 0.5 percent anything else in it.

The rest of the night goes pretty awkward, I remain silent, weirdly only Karthik and Anitha seem to be making conversation. People start giving speeches and soon awards are being given out.

‘We have had the pleasure of having this brilliant, hardworking yet down to earth person working with us for so many years now. He is an inspiration for a lot of people and every other member in his team would do just about anything he asks them to do and with a smile on their faces. Without him, we might not be on schedule for launching our new product and we greatly appreciate his dedication and commitment and most importantly his expertise and the very uncommon common sense and presence of mind. His ability to take on any challenge is only rivaled by his drive to get things done to perfection. We all know him and we are all very happy to have him amongst us, so I call upon Karthik Ranganath to accept this well-deserved award for Innovator of the year!’, the MC announces and I completely realize that she is one hundred percent right. Karthik is all that and more, much more.

He gets up and his dad puts out his hand and Karthik shakes it with a smile on his face and his mother places her right hand on their joined hands. I look at him until he catches my eye and smile at him, he smiles back and almost as an after-thought squeezes my right shoulder when he moves away from the table. I follow him all the way to the dais and clap until my palms start hurting when he receives it. There is a very loud applause from one end of the floor and I realize it should be from his team. The indignant tears that were just waiting to flow suddenly turn into tears of joy and contentment but I control those too with great effort.

A couple more people talk about him and Karthik is uber-cool, shaking hands with them, joking with them and behaving as if the dais is just another day at work and nothing more.  I watch him walk to his team to probably chat with them, given their enthusiasm.

I turn back to see his parents watching me and not him. I shift awkwardly on my seat and kind of repeat the first thing I spoke to them today. Besides, their son is the only common thing between us, at least right now.

‘You must be really proud of him tonight. Congratulations!’, I tell aunty and look at uncle. They just nod at me.

‘I didn’t know it was such a big deal, you know.’, Anitha looks very impressed.

Karthik makes it back to our table and Anitha gushes, ‘Wow Karthik. Very impressive! Congrats!’, she says.

He smiles and nods. ‘Thanks Anitha.’

He sits again next to me and I look at that cool looking award which is essentially crystal globe with metal rings around and standing on a metal string connected to a heavy wooden base with the word ‘Innovator’ on the ring, and Karthik’s name at the base. I place the award back on the table.

‘Impressive Karthik. Congrats’, and I didn’t mean impressive just for the award. Karthik seems to understand and gives me an eyebrow-lift in response.

There were few more awards to be given and if there were people he knew, Karthik told us about them, he pointed out his friends from work and a couple of them stopped at our table to say hi. They seemed to know Karthik’s mother. Karthik introduces me to them as his friend but makes it very obvious what kind of friend. One of them even called him a lucky bastard. I agree with that someone.

It is time for dinner and it is a buffet but I eat very little, I did not just lose my appetite it is as if I do not have an appetite to begin with. In my mind, when I had imagined this whole evening, everything went fine except his parents give me what-for during dinner. I did not think they would go on the attack right from the beginning. Anitha leaves soon after, giving me a hug and informs me that Naren is there to pick her up.

‘I’m sorry, Pri. Take care okay? I think you guys need to spend time without an awkward friend around yeah?’, she says and leaves. I sigh.

We linger some more talking to his friends, meeting his boss and all that.

‘I have to drop Priya back, it’s late pa. I have called for a cab, is that fine?’, I overhear Kartik talking to his father.

‘Yes. Drop her and be back soon. We have to talk’, his father declares.

‘I might not be home early. My team is throwing a party.’, he says.

Oh! Really? His father looks at him for some time and then his eyes drift to me and he looks at me for some time and nods.

His mother had gone completely silent and wasn’t talking to anyone, including her husband. Karthik did not even attempt to talk to her.

‘I’m sorry again, bye Aunty. Uncle.’, I couldn’t stop myself from apologizing again when they are about to leave.

They give me yet another nod and leave.

‘I will just see them to the cab and be back, okay?’, he says and follows them.

I make meaningless conversation with his team mates. Karthik returns back in about ten minutes and drags me along, says bye to everyone and finally, finally we leave the place.

We wait at the exit while the valet gets his car, again silently.

‘So party huh? Really?’, I ask, we had left the place and were on the highway, it was about quarter past ten.

‘There is a party, I am throwing it, just not today’, he says.

‘Ohhhh. You think they believed you?’, I ask. He shrugs.

‘Are you okay?’, instead of answering me, he asks a question of his own.

‘Yep. Not anything unexpected, I’m alright.’

‘I am sorry. You were right, they needed time.’

Wow.  A straight sorry, he must have felt really very bad.

‘It’s okay. I’m kinda glad to get it done with. I had some guilt, I apologized and tried to make it right.’

I sigh. Ironically, although no one has ever spoken to me that way I am glad it isn’t a knife waiting to drop at any moment, I am relieved. It has dropped, made an incision deep enough to cut me good, but I am alright.

‘Ya, Anitha called me and asked me to hurry up. I just got held up by all those people.’

Ohh.. She went to do that and not escape? Okay, at least not just escape. She is a good friend.

‘Are you really alright? You were almost in tears. I know you are not prone to crying and do not easily tear up.’

‘I didn’t cry’

‘You almost did’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’, because I don’t want to cause more trouble between him and his parents. I did not just sit back and take it. In fact, I was proud of how I handled myself too. I tried, really tried, to get them to understand.

‘Priya, you did not eat, at all’, he says, his tone admonishing.

‘Wasn’t hungry. That should be kind of obvious’

‘Are you hungry now?’

I think about it, nope, I am not. I just shake my head.

‘Are you sure?’

I ignore him. I kick out my shoes which look fantastic and hence did a great job of biting into my skin.

‘So, that was done. Did I mention? I am really proud of you.’, I say, very blasé.

Karthik smiles. A beautiful smile.

‘Thanks Pri’

He had removed his suit jacket, loosened his tie, rolled up the sleeves of his shirt but his hair was still slick and he still looked very handsome and very attractive. I continue to gape at him.

‘Priya? If you keep looking at me like that…’

‘Like what?’

He chuckles.

‘You stepped in front of me in a busy hotel lobby and placed your hands on my chest like you couldn’t help it and looked at me like….’, he says all smug and pleased with himself.

Okay, I might have done those things, but I don’t care for it being repeated and not like this and not at all in that tone.

‘Like?’, I prompt, but with warning in my voice.

‘Probably like how I looked at you, rather, how I am looking at you’

I go kind of breathless. I look into his eyes and see the same intense-glean now with an addition of extra extra shine. I feel my mouth go dry.

We remain silent for the rest of the ride. I pick up my shoes and continue barefoot as the straps have cut in and my feet have slightly reddish welts on them. Why did I buy these again? Right, because they are very pretty.

‘I like those shoes. But you know, if it hurts so much, you shouldn’t wear them’, Karthik suggests. I was holding up the saree a bit to prevent it from getting dirty and the welts looked kind of angry on the yellow lights that lit the pathway.

‘Umm.. Its fine, just some more shoe-free time and it will be alright’, I say.

He just shakes his head, seemingly unable to imagine my stupidity. We reach my apartment and I open my clutch to get the keys and as has become his irritating habit, he plucks them out of my hand and unlocks it himself.

‘Why do you do that?’, I ask him.

‘Do what?’

‘Unlock my door, I can actually reach the lock, I am tall enough and I know how to unlock’’

He just shrugs.

He strides right to my fridge while I still stand behind my door. He picks a bottle of water and something else and sits on the couch.

‘You can sit here’, he says patting the space next to him.

I groan, yes I do. I walk to the sofa and sit on the other side and cross my arms. I am hungry.

Karthik has a pear in his hand and gives it to me.

‘What?’, I ask him looking at the pear.

‘You don’t want it?’

‘How am I supposed to eat it?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Do you see the size of that pear? It needs to be cut into at least four slices.’

He simply gets up, walk towards the kitchen and comes back in a few minutes with a small bowl of bite sized slices and a tiny fork which I didn’t know we had.

‘Fine?’

I nod.

‘You have anything else? You really need to eat more.’

I shake my head. We hadn’t planned on eating at home.

‘This should be enough. It is very filling.’, I tell him.

‘Okay, now do you want to tell me what my parents told?’

‘Nope. I don’t want to. I deserved about half of it I guess.’

‘No Priya. You didn’t.’

‘Karthik, let it go. I am pretty sure you handled it well. If it works it works, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. We have to see how it goes. I am just worried that they brought up my parents, I hope they don’t call them or anything. My father doesn’t know yet.’

Karthik seems thoughtful.

‘Okay’, he says. ‘Let’s see what happens. But either way, nothing changes’.

‘Yup, I should hope so’, I say on a smile.

His head snaps quickly to me.

‘What did you say?’

‘Umm.. I said…’

‘Priya.. are you saying what I just heard you say?’

‘Umm…’

Did I say something wrong?

My half eaten bowl of pears is snatched away, I am turned to him, his arms pulling me sideways, very inelegant thing to do when in a saree.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Priya..’ , he says, his hands around my neck, pulling me closer.

‘Yeah?’

‘This is the first time, you have answered without being reserved or bringing a maybe into it, when it comes to us.’

Yup, I realized.

‘Karthik, I….’

I remain silent for a long time. In a move that is much more inelegant owing to the fact that I am still in the said saree, he pulls me to him completely yanking me off and before I know, he is kissing me, his arms tight around me. This kiss is more, much more than any we shared all these days and pretty soon I find myself going breathless but not willing to let go. I disengage and look at him and the look in his eyes is enough to cause a wave of electricity all through my body, making me feel things I had only felt a hint off.

‘I am in love with you Karthik. I have been for some time now. I am completely sure that I don’t not want to be with you. I don’t want to even imagine myself with someone else. I feel bad at times if I hadn’t broken our engagement we would be married by now, but right now, I am glad I did. It wouldn’t have been like this if not for that one decision. I wouldn’t have known you this way. I wouldn’t have fallen so hard. Karthik.. I….’, I struggle as I search for words.

‘Priya. Shh..’, he says and if the look in his eyes caused a wave before, the look in his eyes now, lit me up.

I knew then that I wanted to be closer to him, closest and in every way possible. Karthik then proceeds to show me just how much more it can be.