Episode 32

‘Am really worried. What are your parents saying? Are they okay with meeting me at your award thing?’, I ask Karthik, hoping that they got angry and said they wouldn’t attend. It was evening and he luckily could get away early from work and he stopped by before I could go do my work. He mentioned he is going to pick his parents up for tomorrow’s event and I had to make arrangements to reach there while he would drop me back home. I had to ask because I am a sensible person unlike Karthik who seems to think all is well in God’s green earth.

‘They said if I was a good son, I wouldn’t invite you’, he says, coolly, as if that isn’t a grand declaration. His parents are really into drama and declarations. I kind of understand, I mean, when all else fails, you make grand declarations, it might work.

‘You are not alarmed by that?’

‘I know they need time. I am letting them meet you in a public setting where they have to behave. It might or might not spoil their enjoyment of me achieving something, but they would behave. So it is actually a better time for you to meet them.’

More of their dramatic declarations coming out. Right. Is it his mom or dad? Must be mom. She looks like someone who loves drama.

‘You should probably take it slow. Let them stew on this for a little while longer and then do this, it might be too soon.’, I try, I have to, I am not the boldest person on earth, besides I am right too.

Karthik looks mildly irritated.

‘Priya, really? Because you are scared?’

‘Yeah, also why spoil your day?’

Karthik takes a deep breath, visibly relaxing or trying to.

‘I worked hard. I deserve the award. I am proud of it. I am proud of receiving the award, yes. I am not very keen in the huge ceremony which is essential for my company as that’s the way my company honors its employees and also a good chance to get all the good ones together. So, that is not really my day. What is important is that you meet my parents, they see how you are, they see how you are with me and they probably understand or they don’t. But we need to make that effort. That is the whole point.’

‘Okay’, I mean what do you say to that? A lot of things to think, but nothing to say.

‘Okay?’

‘Yep. I get it. Okay.’

He shakes his head.

‘I can’t decide whether to shout at you or laugh or just shake you. This is serious.’

Like I don’t know.

‘Why do you have to make that decision?’

‘You don’t know?’

I just shrug.

‘You are naïve, which is fine, you were protected, spoiled and literally lived in your own world. You are also very immature, which again I understand, for all the above reasons. But, you need to grow up, if not completely, enough to know when things are important, you have to act. It might not work, but you need to do something. It’s like a whole generation happened in the five years separating us. I am pretty sure I was not like you or even your whole gang when I was twenty five. I am just wondering how a gap exists just in the span of five years!’, he even brings his left index finger and thumb together to show how small the span is.

I am sorry? Me and my whole gang is immature? We are, probably. But he wasn’t like that? We were both sitting on my couch, and because of the already hot weather, we were sipping water melon juice which I made from a whole fruit and put it in the fridge. I was reclined on the sofa my legs on the nearby smaller chair. He was sitting next to me facing me, his one leg folded under him. As I sit there listening to him, I turn to him and straighten.

‘I know am not mature.’, I mean what is the hurry?.

‘But I know what is important and what isn’t. It is true that the possibility of meeting your parents doesn’t thrill me. But, you should really consider what you are doing. I want to be there. I want to see people praise you. I want to share that moment. I am really really proud of you. But, if my presence is going to cause trouble or possibly damage, I don’t want to cause that. I might not explain my reasons as clearly as you do, but doesn’t mean I don’t think. Seriously, if only you could get off your high horse!’

I try to come up with trivial reasons true, but have I ever acted like important things are trivial?

‘You said wearing a saree would help’, he says.

Really? The mind boggles. He took that serious? All my rants about being worried this might be a bad idea isn’t taken seriously?

‘I was worried. I was just saying that. I know what I wear isn’t going to make a difference. I know it really doesn’t matter. God, you think I am naïve, I am not. You think I am ignorant, I am not and to the extent you imagine at least. But you also seem to think I don’t have a brain and I don’t know how to use what little I have. Stop doing it and think from my perspective for two minutes.’

Karthik’s eyes widen, in all our days I haven’t seen his eyes widen. Hmmm. Seriously?

I also tend to downplay things at times. Maybe I need to play it as it is. I decide to glare at him. This isn’t a moment to downplay.

‘You know what, you should leave, let me calm down. I will see you tomorrow at the award thing. I have work to do.’

‘Priya…’, he sounds coaxing.

‘I have to meet Bala, he is rehearsing.’

He sighs. I square my shoulders in resolution.

‘Where is it? I will drop you there.’

‘Nope, I will call a cab or take an auto.’

‘I will drop you’, apparently that’s it.

So we leave. I have been to Bala’s rehearsals three times now. Ishitha is way too talented if you ask me. She has made almost 8-9 pieces of jewelry and I want all of them. I wouldn’t know how difficult was it to make, was there any unique technique involved, but I want them. They were not entirely new or unique, but there was something different about them. With my colleagues interested, she should probably has to make more. Anitha is still breaking her head over the pricing. She priced few of the pieces then realized she herself wouldn’t buy them at that rate and now is trying to find a balance.

Bala on the other hand isn’t confident and gets nervous about playing to anyone he doesn’t know well and I am still not sure if he is really talented or not. He was pretty good with the guitar when I first heard him and then something happened. Not that I am an expert or anything, just that I have ears and have had my own stint at music where I tried to learn to sing between the ages of twelve to fourteen and got myself trained. So what I am is not tone-deaf and I have a basic understanding of what could be. What I did observe is with a lot, I mean a lot of encouragement, he seems to get a little bit better.

I am here, clueless, unsure what to do. I wish I had that one thing that I have that could keep me going no matter what. I probably do have, I am yet to find it. So I can do my bit. Apparently, today I get to do my bit while Karthik drops me while we are in a snit.

‘I know you are not brainless. I mean obviously. It is just that every day at home I listen to my parents chewing my ears and….’, Karthik says, after a long bout of silence. It was unbearable and I was almost giving into the pressure of making some conversation because of the unbearability of it.

I give him a look, a quelling look, but there seems to be no quelling happening.

‘I don’t know whether it is a good idea. But I really think it is the best chance for you to meet them and them actually observing or listening. Anywhere else, they might not make the effort. The way they are now…’, he adds.

I take my time responding. I am pretty sure that this will be a disaster and I will do everything in my power to salvage the situation. Finally I reply on a nod, not that he can see me as he is busy driving.

‘Okay. I don’t think it is a good idea, I am putting this out there. I also kinda understand why you think it is a good idea. So I will support you, because I am not completely immature’, I even attempt a joke, imitating his tone.

Karthik though only sighs.

‘I am not doing many things right these days am I?’

Yup, yet another way of apologizing without actually apologizing. Seriously, why can’t he just say sorry? Is it a guy thing?

‘Apology accepted’, I keep at it.

He grins.

‘So, is Bala any good?’, he enquires, sounding expectant and hoping I would say no.

I chuckle. ‘I don’t know. He is confusing. He was good the first time I heard him. He played classic Ilayaraja a fusion of western and Indian. I wish he knew how to play violin.’

‘So this is your thing now? You and Anitha seem to have adopted that girl who makes jewelry, wooden’, clearly expressing his views on wooden jewelry. He is such a snob.

‘Hey, wooden jewelry is good. It is very in. So is glass.’

Karthik makes a mild version of disgusted face. I can literally hear him think, junk!

‘All the best’, he says when we reach Bala’s place. I nod, he said All the best, but he sounds like he meant careful. Seriously!

I go to Bala’s small apartment which he shares with his younger brother and the other actor guy who came to the meeting. Their house isn’t too shabby. This is the first time I am here without Anitha and I am slightly uncomfortable. I wait by their open door as I can hear him playing keyboards, another old song by Ilayaraja and it sounded decent. I knock on the door and go in.

Bala is playing of course and he immediately looks nervous on seeing me and stops. I have no clue what to do about that.

‘Hey that was pretty good. You should play that.’

‘Hi Priya’, is all he says.

This isn’t going to go well.

‘Do you have any other pieces that you are that comfortable with?’

‘Yeah. You want to hear them?’, he asks, getting up, going to the nearby fridge and getting me a bottle of water. The bottle looks like it has seen too many days.

‘Sure’

‘Okay, this one? This one I played a lot in my college days, I used to love this one.’, he says and plays another Ilayaraja tune, in fact one of his best from Punnagai Mannan.

He was pretty good. A couple of notes sounded off, but, decent.

‘That was nice.’

‘This one? This used to be my ex’s favorite’

‘Ex huh?’

He chuckles, ‘Yup. Used to ask me to play all the time. It was fun.’, he says and goes on to play another one.

‘You should listen to this one. Ahh.. the stories this song has…’ and so he goes.

Okay, so he is able to play songs with stories in them comfortably.

‘You should do this you know. Talk to people, tell them the stories while you play.’

‘Really? Why would I do that? Why would people even want to listen to these stories?’

Ahh.. Back to the problem. There lies the problem.

‘Why not? They are memories for you and you seem to cherish them, even an ex’s story. So you are doing more than just playing these tunes.’

‘I still don’t think it would work.’

‘You got nervous as soon as you saw me. But when you started telling me about it, you got comfortable and weren’t at all’

‘I don’t know…. ‘

‘Just saying. Upto you.’, I don’t know him from Adam or anything.

So after a long time of him playing things and me listening encouragingly when he played things on the whole and getting bored alternatively when he was practicing and tuning some portions, he asks,

‘What do you think?’

‘Pretty good. You decided on five minutes right? Come up with a list? You want to do more?’

‘Nope. Five minutes should do. More than enough’

‘Hey, relax. It is not a big audience. Half the people probably won’t even know if you missed a note. You are doing it just for fun right?’

He nods.

‘See you later?’, I say getting up.

He moves to me and again does the no-contact hug thing and I return it this time.

‘Thanks Priya. I know I am not..’

‘Dude chill. We are all trying to do something and have fun doing it. You shouldn’t take it so seriously’, I say, hoping this would calm his nerves.

He nods again.

I come back home to see Anitha just lounging on the sofa with a yellowish face mask on her face.

‘How did it go? Is Bala comfortable now? Did he at least improve?’

‘God no. He is still nervous. I hope he doesn’t back out.’

I flop down next to her.

‘What’s this on your face?’

‘Too much sun today. Trying to calm the skin’

If only I had her patience and care.

‘So how nervous are you?’, she asks moving her lips as less as possible.

‘Umm.. what?’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Ugh yeah. I shouldn’t be nervous. I need to meditate and be calm. Like reaching nirvana calm. I have to handle his parents properly.’

‘You meditate?’, she asks.

‘Of course not. I need to’

‘Thank god, all is right in the world again.’

‘Right. You are hilarious you know’, I add sarcastically.

‘You need to apply this mask too. You look dull’

‘God no. It stinks.’

‘Hey, it’s just sour curd’

‘Yup. No way.’

‘Suit yourself.’

I nod. ‘So, let me make dinner. That should be like meditating’, I declare.

She laughs, trying not to laugh given the gunk on her face, shaking her head, of course cooking and I aren’t best of friends; we were more like frenemies.

 ‘You concentrate on something to not think about anything else and you just want to get it done so you can move on right? It’s practically the same thing’, I say.

Anitha laughs. I am funny I guess.

*****************************************************************************

So Anitha and I are in a cab and on the way to this banquet hall in a five star hotel. We are both dressed to the nines. I have to admit, I am feeling extremely confident given that I look pretty good in the saree. The golden creamy shade flatters me and I look brighter and given the shine of the saree I was made up to the nines as well. It wasn’t very dramatic, it wasn’t my usual understated make up either. I had straightened my hair and left it at that with a few strands pulled along the left side with a golden clip. Anitha though is just beautiful. She looks uber-elegant.

My phone rings, I open my clutch and check the display, it is Karthik.

‘Hey’, I sound uber-nervous as one tends to sound.

‘Hey. We reached here. Where are you guys?’

‘On the way.’

‘We will reach in fifteen mins’, Anitha prompts her eyes on the map app on her phone.

‘Anitha says fifteen mins’

‘Okay. Call me when you reach, I will come and get you. Yeah?’

This is the third time I have listened to this statement.

‘Ya okay Karthik. I will call’, I dutifully reply.

‘Pri’, he says.

‘Yep’

I hear him breath deep. ‘Okay, just get here’

‘Karthik, it is going to be alright’, I assure something that isn’t in my hands at all. See? I am good at this relationship stuff.

I hang up and sigh. Karthik is nervous. Imagine me.

‘It will be alright’, Anitha also assures something she has no control on.

I smile.

‘You look beautiful, radiant. They are going to take one look at you and understand’.

Right, I wish the world worked that way for me. Alas, that is Anitha’s world.

We reach the venue and I call him as instructed multiple times. We wait in the reception area and are welcomed by his colleagues over and over again. One guy even hits on Anitha and she treats him like a naughty kid. I am nervous and I feel a chill owing to the very fine layer of perspiration on my body.

‘Hi Pri’, I hear Karthik as well as feel his hand on my triceps from behind.

Karthik’s eyes have obviously observed me because they hold the best look he has ever worn. They look intense, completely focused on me, a gleam in them that appears and disappears alternatively and I turn towards him almost involuntarily and place both my palms on his chest.

Karthik breaks eye contact while I still gape at him and I hear him make conversation with Anitha.

‘Hi Anitha. Wow, you look good’, he says.

‘Hi Karthik. You look good yourself.’, Anitha says in a gross understatement.

Karthik is wearing a suit in the deepest navy blue I have seen, a white shirt and a tie of a very deep purple that it almost looks black under the dull lighting. His hair is slicked back with a good deal of gel. For all the gentlemanly look, he still carries a slight shadow of beard on his cheeks and against the slick hair, this is the sexiest look on him, yet. Karthik always dresses well and always looked good. But man, apparently I have a thing for suits.

While I have been making these mental observations, Anitha is laughing.

I turn to her and raise my eye brows.

‘Pri, you look smitten, like you have never seen anything like that before.’

I probably do look like that. I look back to Karthik and see the intense-gleamy eyes focused on me again now with a hint of humor and let me tell you, if it were you, you wouldn’t have looked away, but I did, with great difficulty.

Anitha walks ahead. I move my hands to turn and follow her but at the last moment Karthik’s left hand curls around my right.

‘You are a vision Pri. You look amazing. I have no words, I hope we are in a place where public displays of affection is acceptable’, his eyes still intense-gleamy but a softness in them now. Okay, this is even more difficult to look away from.

Ohhhhh.

‘Thanks. You look amazing too. I mean.. very sexy’, I say, managing to move my hands away.

That is when he grins and I struggle to look away from that too. He shakes his head and offers his arm so that we can make a move.

‘I think you need a lot of orange juice’, he says, obviously having felt my sweaty palm when he held it.

‘Don’t you dare Karthik. No juice’.

The man just chuckles.

We enter the banquet hall and I disengage my hand from his arm. I don’t want to cause a riot or something. There is a dais with brilliant lighting and some kind of slow music in the background. The hall is huge with round tables artfully scattered and people dressed to the nines seated all around.

Anitha who has been waiting at the entrance joins us and Karthik leads us to a table.

A table where his parents were seated and were looking at the dais with an expression of boredom. His mother first turns to us and when her eyes reaches mine I could literally see boredom make a haste getaway for arctic winds. I try a tentative smile but she just looks away.

I look ahead to see Karthik’s dad and I give myself a mental kick for having forgotten how imposing he can be.

‘Dad, mom, you know Priya. This is Anitha, her friend and room mate’, he smiles, waves his arm towards Anitha.

Anitha sits next to Mrs.Pramilla braving the chills. Karthik pulls out a chair for me opposite to her and pulls another one between me and his dad. There were a couple of seats between me and Anitha. I give big eyes to Anitha. This seems like a statement. She agrees with me and gives me bigger eyes.

‘How are you aunty? Uncle?’, I ask.

Karthik’s father Ranganath, looks directly at me for the first time. I feel a slight shiver along my spine area. I am telling you, I am a complete scaredy-cat.

‘Fine’, he says, his tone very undecipherable, I mean, is he disgusted, irritated or plain resigned? Eloquence runs in the family.

‘Aunty?’, I ask, I have entered the den, why hold back? Might as well pull on the whiskers.

‘Fine’, she says. Okay.

‘Let me get you guys drinks’, he says looking at me and Anitha, ‘You want anything mom?’, he asks pushing back his chair.

I communicate to him mentally not to get me his version of orange juice. He smiles just a little bit. Great.

I watch him leave and turn back to his mother.

‘You must be very proud of him isn’t it? The only person to get this award this year.’, there, that was flattering but neutral.

‘Yes, we are very proud. That is why we are here for him’, she says.

Oops, danger.

‘You do have courage. You wouldn’t give any of us a second when we wanted to talk to you and here you are’, his father declares, resting both the elbows on the table and joining the tip of his hands and looking at me with his version of intense eyes which was very scary. Karthik looks a lot like him.

There is only one way to handle this and that is to go head on.

‘I am truly sorry for what I did back then uncle. It wasn’t intended. I should have handled it better, I didn’t, I am sorry aunty. I realize that now and I can do better.’

I look at both of them.

Karthik’s father just scoffs.

‘We are here because he asked us to. We want our son to be happy. But we don’t think he will be happy with you. Someone who changes her mind on a whim and doesn’t care about consequences. Someone who is so selfish that she doesn’t care about her own parents. Someone who is so unsure , someone who is into so many other things that she could never give her all for him or his family. Our son deserves someone better’

Wow. What do I say to that? I look at Anitha. Anitha was running the risk of tearing the muscles that help her eyes in place, her eyes were unbelievably wide and she was gaping at the imposing Mr.Ranganath.

‘You have to let me explain. It is not how you think it is…’

‘You might have your reasons, but they don’t matter. Karthik, well, he is just being Karthik. He got over the other girl, he will get over you too.’, his mother interjects.

I remain silent. It looks like they needed to get things off their system. I let them.

‘Don’t think for a second that we came here so we are going to accept you. We don’t want to miss this, not because of you.’

I nod lamely.

‘You know, you could have changed your mind just a day before and spared us all the insult and the expense and the explanation we had to give to every person we know’, the ball is back in uncle’s court.

‘I…’

‘Nope, you are brainless and uncaring, you had to decide that day’, aunty now. Did they rehearse?

‘How did this even happen? What is he thinking? I just don’t see why he would like you..’, uncle now.

Karthik has gone to the lab to manufacture water and aerate it, make ice, make a soda drink and then manufacture fancy glasses and then fill them in and get us the drinks. He is going to take a lot of time.

‘I will just be back, I need to use the washroom’, Anitha says and makes her escape.

‘You know, he didn’t even invite his friends. He invited you and that friend of yours. I just don’t get it..’, aunty begins again.

‘He…’

‘He probably invited her for her’, uncle adds on a scoff while pointing at me on the second her.

‘I…’

‘Look, we are here for our son. We just want to see him get the award.’, aunty cuts in.

Okay. I try very very hard to swallow tears of indignation that have been threatening to fall for sometime now.

Never, never has anyone spoken to me like this.

I look for Karthik and see him holding two glasses in his hands but talking to a couple of men, probably important people from work, his eyes meet mine and wander off and meet mine yet again and he gives me a nod and dips his head as if to say sorry, will be there soon.

I turn back to see Karthik’s father watching this silent exchange.

‘I just don’t get how that boy believes you will keep this up till the end. He should think what he has to do if you change your mind, again.’, aunty feels like clarifying the situation.

‘Well, she has parents who will support her no matter what. She wouldn’t have a problem at all’, uncle adds his bit.

Okay, that’s it.

‘I know I didn’t do right. I have been feeling guilty. I probably deserve to hear most of what you said. I did wrong, so I will listen. My parents will stand by me because they love me and trust me. I… I will stand by Karthik no matter what. You are his parents, I would love to have your acceptance and blessings. I am sorry. I did few things which I myself didn’t understand. I don’t expect you to understand and forgive. I don’t expect anything of you, except to give me the opportunity to get you to trust me, to trust Karthik, that he is doing what he feels right.’

‘We..’

‘I did not want to come today, for precisely this reason. I came here for Karthik, yes, I also came for you. I had a right to say no to the engagement, I just didn’t do it in a way that didn’t insult anyone. That is on me, I am not sure what I can do to rectify it. Karthik understands. If you can’t, maybe you can trust your son that he wouldn’t do something that he doesn’t believe in. He has a lot of admirable qualities, but what really drew me to him is the fact that he never did anything that he didn’t believe in. Do you think, your son, will be with someone if he believed that she insulted him intentionally?’

‘Well…’, uncle started saying something, but Karthik came back around that time.

‘Here you go!’, he says, places what looks like cranberry juice in two tall glasses on the table. At this point I would haven’t minded if it wasn’t a virgin cranberry.

He sits next to me and grabs my hand under the table which I had unconsciously fisted under the table and around the saree probably crushing the material beyond repair.

‘Where is Anitha?’, he asks now.

‘Anitha seems to be cultured. She seems to know when she isn’t needed’, adds Karthik’s mother. Okay, today I learnt I am also uncultured. Great!

I turn to look at Karthik whose face had gone completely blank, cold and stone-like. Oh no. This isn’t going to go down well. I twist my hand in his from in his hand to around and squeeze it to communicate that he has to maintain his calm.

‘I brought Priya because I wanted her here. She was worried and didn’t want to, because she predicted this is how you will act. But I told her that you wouldn’t.’

‘Yeah..’, she starts but Karthik doesn’t let her.

‘I explained everything to you. I explained that this is serious that she means a lot to me. I understand you are angry and you might be justified in your anger. But from what I saw from there and from what I see on Priya’s face, it is obvious that you only managed to express your anger and did not attempt to understand anything that is going on here.’

I panic. I don’t want him to say anything he will regret later.

 ‘I respect you guys, I understand that you are still angry. So, you will please let us know when you are ready to know her, us, for what we really are.’

Wow. Karthik, so direct. Good to know it is not just with me.

My mouth drops open. If I had any doubts at all about Karthik, they just vanish as a kind of epiphany steals through me. Karthik, I can always trust, I can always count on. Similarly, his parents can trust and count on him too. He didn’t declare that they were wrong and make things worse, he calmly just told it as it is, he didn’t make a big deal of them behaving this way, because he understood them, but he also didn’t let me take it and showed his support as clearly as possible. I have to tell you, I am really proud of him and I show that by squeezing his hand more.

I look at his mother first who looks taken aback and then look at his father who also has a blank face. Blank face also runs in the family.

I feel like I should say something when I take a breath Karthik’s hand gives mine another squeeze, so I keep quiet.

Anitha joins in a few and this time she sits next to me. Karthik releases my hand and I go for the cranberry juice and taste it to know it is only cranberry, not even a 0.5 percent anything else in it.

The rest of the night goes pretty awkward, I remain silent, weirdly only Karthik and Anitha seem to be making conversation. People start giving speeches and soon awards are being given out.

‘We have had the pleasure of having this brilliant, hardworking yet down to earth person working with us for so many years now. He is an inspiration for a lot of people and every other member in his team would do just about anything he asks them to do and with a smile on their faces. Without him, we might not be on schedule for launching our new product and we greatly appreciate his dedication and commitment and most importantly his expertise and the very uncommon common sense and presence of mind. His ability to take on any challenge is only rivaled by his drive to get things done to perfection. We all know him and we are all very happy to have him amongst us, so I call upon Karthik Ranganath to accept this well-deserved award for Innovator of the year!’, the MC announces and I completely realize that she is one hundred percent right. Karthik is all that and more, much more.

He gets up and his dad puts out his hand and Karthik shakes it with a smile on his face and his mother places her right hand on their joined hands. I look at him until he catches my eye and smile at him, he smiles back and almost as an after-thought squeezes my right shoulder when he moves away from the table. I follow him all the way to the dais and clap until my palms start hurting when he receives it. There is a very loud applause from one end of the floor and I realize it should be from his team. The indignant tears that were just waiting to flow suddenly turn into tears of joy and contentment but I control those too with great effort.

A couple more people talk about him and Karthik is uber-cool, shaking hands with them, joking with them and behaving as if the dais is just another day at work and nothing more.  I watch him walk to his team to probably chat with them, given their enthusiasm.

I turn back to see his parents watching me and not him. I shift awkwardly on my seat and kind of repeat the first thing I spoke to them today. Besides, their son is the only common thing between us, at least right now.

‘You must be really proud of him tonight. Congratulations!’, I tell aunty and look at uncle. They just nod at me.

‘I didn’t know it was such a big deal, you know.’, Anitha looks very impressed.

Karthik makes it back to our table and Anitha gushes, ‘Wow Karthik. Very impressive! Congrats!’, she says.

He smiles and nods. ‘Thanks Anitha.’

He sits again next to me and I look at that cool looking award which is essentially crystal globe with metal rings around and standing on a metal string connected to a heavy wooden base with the word ‘Innovator’ on the ring, and Karthik’s name at the base. I place the award back on the table.

‘Impressive Karthik. Congrats’, and I didn’t mean impressive just for the award. Karthik seems to understand and gives me an eyebrow-lift in response.

There were few more awards to be given and if there were people he knew, Karthik told us about them, he pointed out his friends from work and a couple of them stopped at our table to say hi. They seemed to know Karthik’s mother. Karthik introduces me to them as his friend but makes it very obvious what kind of friend. One of them even called him a lucky bastard. I agree with that someone.

It is time for dinner and it is a buffet but I eat very little, I did not just lose my appetite it is as if I do not have an appetite to begin with. In my mind, when I had imagined this whole evening, everything went fine except his parents give me what-for during dinner. I did not think they would go on the attack right from the beginning. Anitha leaves soon after, giving me a hug and informs me that Naren is there to pick her up.

‘I’m sorry, Pri. Take care okay? I think you guys need to spend time without an awkward friend around yeah?’, she says and leaves. I sigh.

We linger some more talking to his friends, meeting his boss and all that.

‘I have to drop Priya back, it’s late pa. I have called for a cab, is that fine?’, I overhear Kartik talking to his father.

‘Yes. Drop her and be back soon. We have to talk’, his father declares.

‘I might not be home early. My team is throwing a party.’, he says.

Oh! Really? His father looks at him for some time and then his eyes drift to me and he looks at me for some time and nods.

His mother had gone completely silent and wasn’t talking to anyone, including her husband. Karthik did not even attempt to talk to her.

‘I’m sorry again, bye Aunty. Uncle.’, I couldn’t stop myself from apologizing again when they are about to leave.

They give me yet another nod and leave.

‘I will just see them to the cab and be back, okay?’, he says and follows them.

I make meaningless conversation with his team mates. Karthik returns back in about ten minutes and drags me along, says bye to everyone and finally, finally we leave the place.

We wait at the exit while the valet gets his car, again silently.

‘So party huh? Really?’, I ask, we had left the place and were on the highway, it was about quarter past ten.

‘There is a party, I am throwing it, just not today’, he says.

‘Ohhhh. You think they believed you?’, I ask. He shrugs.

‘Are you okay?’, instead of answering me, he asks a question of his own.

‘Yep. Not anything unexpected, I’m alright.’

‘I am sorry. You were right, they needed time.’

Wow.  A straight sorry, he must have felt really very bad.

‘It’s okay. I’m kinda glad to get it done with. I had some guilt, I apologized and tried to make it right.’

I sigh. Ironically, although no one has ever spoken to me that way I am glad it isn’t a knife waiting to drop at any moment, I am relieved. It has dropped, made an incision deep enough to cut me good, but I am alright.

‘Ya, Anitha called me and asked me to hurry up. I just got held up by all those people.’

Ohh.. She went to do that and not escape? Okay, at least not just escape. She is a good friend.

‘Are you really alright? You were almost in tears. I know you are not prone to crying and do not easily tear up.’

‘I didn’t cry’

‘You almost did’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’, because I don’t want to cause more trouble between him and his parents. I did not just sit back and take it. In fact, I was proud of how I handled myself too. I tried, really tried, to get them to understand.

‘Priya, you did not eat, at all’, he says, his tone admonishing.

‘Wasn’t hungry. That should be kind of obvious’

‘Are you hungry now?’

I think about it, nope, I am not. I just shake my head.

‘Are you sure?’

I ignore him. I kick out my shoes which look fantastic and hence did a great job of biting into my skin.

‘So, that was done. Did I mention? I am really proud of you.’, I say, very blasé.

Karthik smiles. A beautiful smile.

‘Thanks Pri’

He had removed his suit jacket, loosened his tie, rolled up the sleeves of his shirt but his hair was still slick and he still looked very handsome and very attractive. I continue to gape at him.

‘Priya? If you keep looking at me like that…’

‘Like what?’

He chuckles.

‘You stepped in front of me in a busy hotel lobby and placed your hands on my chest like you couldn’t help it and looked at me like….’, he says all smug and pleased with himself.

Okay, I might have done those things, but I don’t care for it being repeated and not like this and not at all in that tone.

‘Like?’, I prompt, but with warning in my voice.

‘Probably like how I looked at you, rather, how I am looking at you’

I go kind of breathless. I look into his eyes and see the same intense-glean now with an addition of extra extra shine. I feel my mouth go dry.

We remain silent for the rest of the ride. I pick up my shoes and continue barefoot as the straps have cut in and my feet have slightly reddish welts on them. Why did I buy these again? Right, because they are very pretty.

‘I like those shoes. But you know, if it hurts so much, you shouldn’t wear them’, Karthik suggests. I was holding up the saree a bit to prevent it from getting dirty and the welts looked kind of angry on the yellow lights that lit the pathway.

‘Umm.. Its fine, just some more shoe-free time and it will be alright’, I say.

He just shakes his head, seemingly unable to imagine my stupidity. We reach my apartment and I open my clutch to get the keys and as has become his irritating habit, he plucks them out of my hand and unlocks it himself.

‘Why do you do that?’, I ask him.

‘Do what?’

‘Unlock my door, I can actually reach the lock, I am tall enough and I know how to unlock’’

He just shrugs.

He strides right to my fridge while I still stand behind my door. He picks a bottle of water and something else and sits on the couch.

‘You can sit here’, he says patting the space next to him.

I groan, yes I do. I walk to the sofa and sit on the other side and cross my arms. I am hungry.

Karthik has a pear in his hand and gives it to me.

‘What?’, I ask him looking at the pear.

‘You don’t want it?’

‘How am I supposed to eat it?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Do you see the size of that pear? It needs to be cut into at least four slices.’

He simply gets up, walk towards the kitchen and comes back in a few minutes with a small bowl of bite sized slices and a tiny fork which I didn’t know we had.

‘Fine?’

I nod.

‘You have anything else? You really need to eat more.’

I shake my head. We hadn’t planned on eating at home.

‘This should be enough. It is very filling.’, I tell him.

‘Okay, now do you want to tell me what my parents told?’

‘Nope. I don’t want to. I deserved about half of it I guess.’

‘No Priya. You didn’t.’

‘Karthik, let it go. I am pretty sure you handled it well. If it works it works, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. We have to see how it goes. I am just worried that they brought up my parents, I hope they don’t call them or anything. My father doesn’t know yet.’

Karthik seems thoughtful.

‘Okay’, he says. ‘Let’s see what happens. But either way, nothing changes’.

‘Yup, I should hope so’, I say on a smile.

His head snaps quickly to me.

‘What did you say?’

‘Umm.. I said…’

‘Priya.. are you saying what I just heard you say?’

‘Umm…’

Did I say something wrong?

My half eaten bowl of pears is snatched away, I am turned to him, his arms pulling me sideways, very inelegant thing to do when in a saree.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Priya..’ , he says, his hands around my neck, pulling me closer.

‘Yeah?’

‘This is the first time, you have answered without being reserved or bringing a maybe into it, when it comes to us.’

Yup, I realized.

‘Karthik, I….’

I remain silent for a long time. In a move that is much more inelegant owing to the fact that I am still in the said saree, he pulls me to him completely yanking me off and before I know, he is kissing me, his arms tight around me. This kiss is more, much more than any we shared all these days and pretty soon I find myself going breathless but not willing to let go. I disengage and look at him and the look in his eyes is enough to cause a wave of electricity all through my body, making me feel things I had only felt a hint off.

‘I am in love with you Karthik. I have been for some time now. I am completely sure that I don’t not want to be with you. I don’t want to even imagine myself with someone else. I feel bad at times if I hadn’t broken our engagement we would be married by now, but right now, I am glad I did. It wouldn’t have been like this if not for that one decision. I wouldn’t have known you this way. I wouldn’t have fallen so hard. Karthik.. I….’, I struggle as I search for words.

‘Priya. Shh..’, he says and if the look in his eyes caused a wave before, the look in his eyes now, lit me up.

I knew then that I wanted to be closer to him, closest and in every way possible. Karthik then proceeds to show me just how much more it can be.