Episode 15

I am at work and trying to concentrate. I am someone that gets diverted easily, to the point that a slightly more acute manifestation of this problem might have been called attention deficiency disorder. I am trying to concentrate because Venkat, Shan’s friend, had responded with his feedback. He had suggested a few changes and also an alternate approach and asked me to consider it. I am supposed to be noting down pros and cons so that I can decide on the alternate approach and I have to get it done today. Instead all I am doing is thinking about Karthik. If I was doing the noting down on paper, I might have drawn little hearts and written down his name in them. Thankfully, am using a spreadsheet making the hearts-drawing too difficult to do unconsciously. Ya, this is how I drift off from software modeling to Karthik, it almost sounds like the logical thing to do.

I attempt once again, mentally erasing the little hearts with Karthik, since it is in my mind, instead of his name, I have an image in the heart, where he gives me the Smile. Yes, I have classified his smiles based on experience. I will introduce you guys to it one by one. First on the list is the Smile. This is the smile he gives me, an almost grin, eyes gone all melty, which makes me feel like I am the only other person in the world right now. I saw it first time yesterday, and the Smile has had a long effect. Right, drifted off again!

I start typing something into the pros column so that I get into it one way or the other.

Finally it works. I start noting things down. As I fill it, I realize why the alternate approach cannot work here and the cons column keeps growing. This is a relief as I could not have re-modeled the solution. I incorporate the suggestions for the same model and start verifying it. I am so glad that I got to do it by afternoon. I can take it to the review team and get round one done before we meet tomorrow. This way I can be prepared.

I schedule a meeting right away including Sukanya, Shan and the review team, so that everyone knows the status. Most people were not free until the late afternoon, so I reschedule. Shan drops by to my place.

'Hey Priya. Looks like you have made good progress.', he smiles, while I keep wondering at the smile, it changes to a smirk-smile. Thank God, I don’t know how to process Shan without a smirk-smile.

I nod. 'Yup. Hopefully, this goes through the review.'

'Ya, I hope so too. So what's the plan now?'

'I am going to look at system architecture of a similar system. I have been advised I might be able to use the same with minor changes', I say, air quoting "advised".

Shan smirk-smiles.

'Won't that be easy', he points out.

'Yes, it is better that we don’t spend too much time reinventing the wheel', I give back.

I don’t know how I could differentiate it, but I know that the smirk-smile he gives me now has a tinge of appreciation in it. I'll take it.

'I am going to get a cup of coffee at the cafeteria, do you want to join?', Shan asks.

I am in shock. Shan wants to have coffee with me? Whoa.

'Sure Shan. Let's go'. One doesn’t say no to one's manager, when one is invited for a coffee. This is a commandment, so I go with him.

He orders coffee for both of us, we wait in silence and once it is done, we pick them up and look for a table and get seated.

Shan was one of those few managers who do not beat around the bush.

'So what is this with Karthik?'

'Umm… what?'

'I ask as Karthik's friend. He isn’t telling me anything. Every time I called him in the past week, he has been at your place or your friends' place.'

'Yeah.. he…'

'Really, what is happening?'

'We are.. I don’t know how to say. We…'

'What is he doing at your friends' place?'

I take a deep breath. I am not known for patience, although these days my patience is being tested.

'I introduced Karthik to my friends. One of my friends, Aditya, has been promoted to an important position, so he invited all of us to announce and for us to get together..'

'Why is Karthik hanging out with you and your friends?'. Shan has decided not to let me finish any of my sentences.

'I don’t see why I should answer you Shan. I don’t see why this is any of your business..', I say this without raising my voice, calmly. I am proud of myself.

Shan looks at me and smirk-smiles. This time, the smirk-smile is tinged with, no, dripping  with sarcasm.

'It is my business alright. When you insulted him by dumping him, he came to me. I helped him out. I helped sort out the mess. I spoke to his parents and helped them get over it. Now, you are making more of a mess and I want to know why. When I asked him to come help you the other night, I expected you guys will be at each other fighting and all that', he shakes his head, like he just cannot comprehend what is happening.

How do you explain to your manager that things changed? That instead of fighting and ripping at each other, Karthik and I bonded? That we somehow liked each other once we stopped seeing the other as the forced better half? How do you explain to the groom's friend who helped the groom through the jilting that you are seeing the said groom now, but you are not sure where this is going this time around either?

Since you can't articulate it in an acceptable manner for the manager, you keep quiet.

'Are you guys together now? I hear he is even moving back here'

'I think you should talk to Karthik.'

He shakes his head.

'I cannot understand this. Karthik is the most grounded, sensible person I know. I just don’t get this.'

Yep, I have already been told talking to me is senseless. Not so surprisingly, so is seeing me or meeting my friends.

'Lucky for us, what you think doesn’t matter really, does it?', which is the god's honest truth and a universally accepted fact.

Shan smirk-smiles now with a hint of menace.

'Tread carefully Priya. Anything happens this time….', he doesn’t finish his threat, probably because he is not creative enough to come up with a good or-else.

I shrug at him. I muster up all the attitude in me and give him a cool look. If he is normal or human he would have frozen on the spot. Of course he doesn’t.

'Again Shan. This is between me and Karthik. None of your business. If you are concerned as a friend, you should talk to your friend', I say pointing at him.

He gulps his coffee down like its water and gets up and walks off. I slowly sip on mine, relishing the taste of fresh ground coffee. Ours is a roof top cafeteria, it is nice at times like this when the weather is breezy. I should have realized Shan was up to no good.

I call Karthik. He wasn’t taking my call. So I text him.

You have very loyal friends.

I wait for some time hoping he would reply. He doesn’t. I go back and start preparing for my review. Once am done with the changes I send it to Venki again.

The review goes well. The architect experts only had a few minor corrections and were fine with the model. Shan does not join the meeting, but Sukanya does. Since the review went smooth and ahead of schedule she calls other interested parties to discuss on other things. I take my leave at that point.

'Good job Priya', Sukanya says, giving me an approving nod. Niiiice, I think. Very niiiice. I can't stop the light skip in my step, I am feeling pretty accomplished.

I have loads of work to do still. Damn.

I get started on the system architecture now. I have three days to do this. I have loads of reading to do, so I start printing things up to read during my travel and at home. I can't always study or learn from a screen, I prefer a book. So don’t judge me on wasting paper, I do try to avoid printing as much as possible. I leave from work with a stack of printouts and get into my shuttle.

I see Anand. He waves at me. 'Ahhh.. Not today too?', he asks, pointing at the papers in my hand.

'Yes, today as well', I smile. He dramatically hangs his head down and huffs in terrible, unbearable disappointment. I can’t help it. I laugh.

'You have a good laugh', he says, after dramatically pretending to be lost in my very mesmerizing laugh. Of course, since I am a female susceptible to being complimented, I laugh some more to prove how good a laugher I am.

When I still start with my precious printouts, he sighs and makes a production of leaving me to it. My phone buzzes. It is a text from Karthik.

Please don’t tell me. Shan was trying to protect me from you? :-D

Karthik is of the quick minded variety. I smile to myself. I don’t realize Anand is still in the vicinity until he says, 'Ahh.. the boyfriend? The guy who wanted to incinerate me with his eyes?'

'Ummm what?', I ask, a little stupidly.

Anand points at my phone for emphasis, 'Is that from the boyfriend? And is the boyfriend the guy we saw yesterday?'.

'Oh yeah. It is'. Of course, I don’t consider Karthik as my boyfriend, but what else am I going to say? Explain the entire history?

'He seems too bossy. Once you decide he is more work than you can handle, give me a ring', Anand says, with a wink and walks away. I know he doesn’t mean a thing. Anand, the shameless flirt.

Karthik is more work than I can handle. I am all about pushing my boundaries these days.

I reply to Karthik.

           

Oh ya. Apparently I am going to eat you for breakfast and spit your bones. You should be careful.

I start reading. I don’t check my messages until I finish a couple of pages.

I am always careful with you. :-D

You better be. Btw, I won't mind taking you up on the offer of making dinner for me. Like, today?

Anitha had left for her parents' house and is off for a couple of days. She has some family function to attend to.

Sorry babe. I am swamped today. Tomorrow maybe?

I read this latest message at least four times. I am babe? I blush.

           

Okay. No problem. See you soon?

After a few minutes, he still doesn’t reply. Must be busy. I get on with my reading.

I go home, call and speak to my parents. I decide to cook something. I search recipes for making something simple, easy and quick. Anitha had left some dough for rotis. So I decide to make rotis and tawa paneer, which is supposed to be a quick recipe. I make more than necessary because a corner of me hopes Karthik will drop by. I tell myself that, I am lazy, so I am making it for two days' worth dinner. Aditya did invite me. But, I decided to work if Karthik doesn’t drop by.

I finish with the cooking. I sit down with my laptop and my reading material and start making notes. I check my phone every few minutes. No messages. Okay, I tell myself. We are anyways taking it slow. Right.

I eat dinner and am pretty bored so I decide to take a walk. I take my Ipod  and my phone, close the house and leave. There is a huge walk path running around our apartment complex. Lots of uncles and aunties are always found walking or sitting here and there and just talking. On rare occasions, when it is quite dark, you can even see young couples holding hands and on extremely rare occasions, you can catch people smooching (I haven’t seen this, though Anitha swears she has).

I walk for more than half an hour. I start to come back home. Karthik hadn't called, texted or dropped by. I realize that I want him to. I realize that I miss him. Damn. I pick up my phone to call Anitha. My phone has gotten off. I try to start it, low battery. I hop up the stairs instead of taking the elevator; I have worked up quite a sweat. I free my hair from the tight pony tail I had put it up in when I reach my floor. I raise my hands trying to adjust my hair, holding the elastic band around my wrist while holding my hair too, trying to create a bun. I have the bun twisted and I transfer the band to my mouth to get a better grip of my hair.

I look up with the band in my mouth and that is how I see my dad standing outside my door, I try to smile and end up dropping the band down and that is when I notice the other person standing with my dad. He looks around our age and is dressed in formal trousers and a crisp shirt and I don’t have a good feeling about this.

'Pri ma. Where were you? I tried calling you.'

'Hi Dad. Phone got off.', I say, dig for keys from my track pant pockets and open the door.

'Come in Dad.', I say and smile at the stranger. He looks familiar, but I can't remmeber from where.

'Come in Sravan. You know Pri anyway', my dad invites him in on my behalf. Sravan… Yes, Sravan is my dad's best friend's son. I have met him a lot of times until my schooling. He was a bit older than me and moved to the United States to pursue his education. I am seeing him after maybe ten years now? I hope my living room is in a presentable condition.

'Ohhh.. Sravan? As in Sarathy uncle and Sravan? Oh my god. How are you?', I offer my hand to him. He shakes it. Firm and solid hand shake.

'Am good Priya. How are you?'

'Am doing great. So when did you come back?', I ask, but I see my dad trying to communicate something to me through his eyes and indecipherable sign language.

'Okay, do you want water or coffee or something? Dad, can you come help me?', I say, so that he can peacefully tell me what he wants to say. I start walking to the kitchen and my dad follows. Thank God.

'Priya, get changed. What are you doing? I did not know you went for a walk?'

'Umm dad relaxe. It is Sravan. I know it has been a long time, but he has definitely seen me in worse.'

'Priya, I brought him to meet you. Do you understand?'

'Naa.. I don’t. You could have told me, I would have come home and probably met Sarathy uncle too.'

'Pri no. He has come back to India for a few months. They want him married. He wants to meet you for…'

'Whoa whoa whoa. What?'

'Yes Pri. Please get changed. Just talk to him. Sarathy is really interested in this. I mean. It is Sarathy. I would be so happy.'

From the way my dad speaks, you would think I am supposed to be marrying Sarathy uncle.

'I am going to change dad, but because I have to.'

I ready the milk for boiling it and stomp to my room. What the hell. I quickly wash up and grab the first salwar from my wardrobe and pull it on. My hair is still sweaty. I just brush it up and leave the room. I hear my dad extolling my virtues to Sravan.

'This is interesting uncle, Priya living alone. I am impressed.' I hear Sravan say.

'Priya is very independent. She wanted to', my dad says and with a hint of pride in his voice. Right. I wonder who is the other person who asks me to move back home every single time I go visit him.

I can see that my dad has made coffee. I cannot go sit; I really need to buy chairs. I just go and stand in front of them.

'We were just talking about you Priya.', my dad says. Ya. I had no idea.

'Priya, let's take a walk?', Sravan asks. 'I believe uncle told you. I think we should talk?', he frames it as a question. Isn't it too late in the day for the girl-seeing business?

I don’t say anything, but look at my dad.

'Priya ma. You go take a walk. I will wait here.'

What do I say? Say no and insult my dad in front of his best friend's son?  I sigh. I nod.

I look at Sravan. He stands up.

Crap.

Link to previous episodes : Episode 1  Episode 2  Episode 3  Episode 4  Episode 5  Episode 6  Episode 7  Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12 Episode 13 Episode 14