Episode 3

Shan and Karthik are BFF's. Who could have guessed that? I mean I had a plan. I was going to move out of my parents' place and start alone and go on an adventurous path of self-realization and self-discovery. Well, that is never going to happen now. Damn.

If I lose my job, there is no way that can happen anytime soon. I have been working for more than a couple of years, but I am a shopper. Shopping is my sin of choice.

I am not sure whether I should go home already or should I wait around. I don't know. It was 1'o clock in the afternoon , I might as well have lunch. I go to the cafeteria and get some paranthas, from "Aunty's paranthas". They are super yummy. I decide today is a good day to have chocolate-almond ice cream, so I sit around and have the ice cream as well. If it had been the evening there would have been lot of other options by way of snacks. Well this is not the first time my luck ran out today. What can I say? Looks like am a stress-eater.

I come to my desk; I might as well check mails. I do. No mails that look like electronic pink slips. Phew… Maybe Shan isn’t as bad as he looks. Maybe he really does smile and my judgy-eyes make them seem like smirk-smile. Naaaa.

I decide to finish my work and leave for the day.

I normally take the office shuttle from and back home. I leave earlier than usual and wait for the shuttle. Not many people standing around. I see a copper color SUV driving towards me and stop in front of me. I can see Shan is the driver; he rolls down the window and asks me to get in. I go, I want my job. I try for a genuine smile, but the lack of practice must have shown on my face. The good people did advise us to keep our enemies closer; they did not say anything about smiling for our manager.

I hear someone clearing his throat from behind and I reluctantly turn back to look. Of course, the little tattle-tale! Shan of the big mouth and very many smirk smiles.

Say hello to Karthik!

Karthik of the tall, broad shouldered, dusky handsomeness. Karthik of the soulful brown eyes, sharp nose and the perfect mouth on a strong looking jaw with lines of arrogance around.

I sigh; he is a sight for sore eyes, usually. Right now he looks like he is going to turn into the big bad green monster with questionable rage control at any moment. I sigh for a different reason now.

I am waiting for a miracle here. Anything, anything to not look at him. Anything, anything to not have him here. I’m hoping for an accident, praying for one. Maybe Shan will get a stroke, a heart attack? Maybe I will get a stroke or a heart attack.

‘Hi, how are you?’ I ask, I try being civil. He just looks at me, with what looks like restrained anger.

I just can't face it right now in the right way. What to do? What to do people? What do you do in such a situation? You blabber is what you do.

‘I didn’t know you were Shan’s friend. Did you guys know each other long?’

I force myself to look at him. Again he credits me with only a stare. Time goes on but the silence remains, I keep turning back to check if Karthik is really still there, he is. Right. Suddenly Shan slams the break and looks at me. ‘Get down!’

I didn’t need any more encouragement if he was offering a way out. Wow, awesome! Phew!! Where did that come from? Did Shan feel too awkward???? I will be model employee. I can actually write a book on work ethics and manager relationships and dedicate it to him.

‘That’s funny. You look relieved’. A very warm hand on my elbow. Uh-oh. Stupid. We were in front of a coffee shop which had tables as far away from each other as possible. He drags me inside. What the hell was he thinking? He can't push me like this can he? No way. I try to break his grip. Once, twice, thrice. Man, he is strong.

‘Karthik’

No action reaction.

‘Karthik, remove your hand right now. I can walk in myself’ – if only my voice came out right it would have sounded good. But it was shaking. I was shaking too.

‘It is your running away that makes me cautious!’. He spoke at last. It was a very very bitter monotone. He had a nice voice though. Not a baritone but low enough. He is right, I would bolt if I can get away from it.

‘I need to know only one thing here. When I get that, you are free to go, ok? Stop squirming now’. Bah. I did the right thing. This was too much bossiness for one guy.

I am forced to sit. Well, why force me? It's not like I am going to stand through the conversation right? I didn’t deserve this treatment.

He beckons the waiter and orders two cappuccinos. God, how bland, why come to a coffee shop and order a plain old cappuccino? I correct my order. I opt for one of those chocolaty icy coffee drinks. Karthik looks utterly surprised at the other end and he looks like he has reached some limit he had set for himself.  

‘Are you bipolar or something or maybe some form of dementia or amnesia?’ he asks. He looks like he was hoping that was true. That would solve all his problems.

My mind – What? What? What?

My mouth – open……. Open …. And , open…

I haven’t ever been called mentally ill in a serious frame of discussion, with my mouth open, I might even look the part.

‘I ask because apparently you still seem to believe we are engaged, you broke it remember? The way you behave right now..', the green guy was right under his skin.

My Mind – Ohhhhhh

My mouth – open still

'Do you want to say something now? Or are you just going to sit there and wait for your dentist to start inspecting?'

My Mind – Think something, say something dammit

My mouth – closed for a second, open  again

‘And the last time I spoke to you, you made it sound like I was the villain and you were getting out of a really bad thing’.

My Mind – Did I? Yes, within a week of the un-engagement, he did speak to me to ask why and I remember telling him about my eyes getting opened and me getting enlightened. I tend to deflect when I am to blame, and it might have sounded like I was blaming him. Crap.So much for thinking I will never meet him ever.

My mouth – ‘See Karthik, there are some things better left unsaid. You really don’t want to know’. I had to say something to close my mouth even if it made no sense. Seriously, why did he agree to marry me again?

‘Believe me I do. I have been trying to reach you in all possible ways. I knew your colleague, so I could have really reached you. But I didn’t. Not until I’d heard what you’d told Shan’.

Uh-oh. Shan, you whistle blower you!

‘Look Karthik, it is not personal ok. I just had to do it. I did you a favor. I’m not the type of gal you want to marry alright? I’m all wrong for you!’. God's honest truth!

He took a deep breath like he was holding onto his patience.

‘Why would such a girl go and tell her colleagues she is still engaged and wants to move?’

A researcher really? Didn’t I just tell him I’m all wrong? A wrong gal for him would do that wouldn’t she? Use him and all?

‘Ok, tell me, what story I say will make you stop questioning me?’

‘This is awesome, you break the engagement, you tell me a shit reason, you use my name for some shit transfer, you want to tell me some shit story???’. He was still, his face held no trace of emotion and was completely blank. There was something scary in his eyes. I have never been on the receiving side of real anger till now.

I admit that I am scared. Ask me tomorrow, and I might say I was mildly amused. But now I am. Also, ‘shit’ seems like his favorite swear word. The guy is just not that creative!

The waiter came with my order. This is my cue. ‘Who do you think you are? You have no right to question me. It's not as if you were interested in the marriage right? It's not like we went out and started liking each other. So, why the fact finding now? So what if I did something like that? If Shan had not been your friend you wouldn’t have known at all. So why do you care?’. I get up. The waiter still stands watching, his mouth open, glad I can have this effect on people too. 

‘I am happy I broke the engagement and I don’t want to see you ever again ok? Never, ever’.  The waiter still stood by the table with his tray wondering what to do. I stomp off.

Karthik can't come without paying the bill, can he? Serves him right! As soon as I am out I almost run. I hope I get an auto soon. I know this is juvenile. But I really didn't have an answer for him, heck, I didn’t know it myself.

Wait a minute, wasn't that the problem right there? I take a deep breath. I start walking back to him; he doesn’t deserve what I just did. Not fair for him to get caught in cross hairs that concerned me, we were about to be engaged, but we didn’t know each other well. He didn't deserve this. I should try to make it right. Wish me luck!

Link to previous episodes : Episode 1  Episode 2