Episode 23

‘Aww… Karthik is just so romantic’, says Anitha. We are both standing in the furniture section of a mall. We are looking for a couple of comfortable chairs. Yesterday the gang ended up hanging out at my place and we had reverted to stacks of pillows.  We were browsing and not liking most of the stuff or what we like is way beyond my budget. I have also been telling her about what has been happening between Karthik and me.

‘Yep. I agree.’

‘What a waste’

‘Hey, don’t be mean.’

‘You are the least romantic person I know.’

‘So?’, I ask and Anitha just shakes her head.

‘There is no meaning to life. I end up with the likes of Naren and you end up with Karthik.’, she says, but she says that smiling.

‘I am pretty sure Naren can be romantic.’

‘He used to be, very’

‘Ohhh… Really?’

She nodded. ‘He asked me out the very second time we met. He took me to a candle light place along the beach, we had a long dinner and we walked along the beach afterward. He then bought me some bead necklace from the lady who begged us to buy something as she was closing down her shop as we were crossing it. He bought a black bead long necklace and gave it to me. I was about to refuse, I mean we were on a first date. But then he said, “Don’t refuse it. You want to keep this so you can tell this story whenever you tell our story”’.

Wow. That does sound good. Scary, but good.

It is my turn to go ‘Awwww. Naren? I used to think he is an insensitive idiot.’.

Anitha laughs. ‘Oh. He is that too.’

We sit on some super expensive super comfortable couches not meant for shoppers to lounge on.

‘So what you are saying is, all this dies down? Slowly?’, I need to be prepared.

‘Not die. Just becomes less. Goes from every time to some times and from that to on special occasions’

That still is fine. I don’t want a relationship where am always waiting and measuring the romantic gesture.

‘Seems fine’, I say.

Anitha looks at me and laughs. ‘See, this is what I am saying. Not every girl is okay with that, everyone wants more’.

I shrug. ‘Anyways, my work sucks though.’.

‘Everyone’s work sucks, that isn’t anything new’, she says, as if that isn’t a big deal.

She adds after a second, ‘Okay, maybe not everyone’s Vivek likes being a genius, Naren loves being a civil engineer, not sure about Aditya’.

‘You have been hanging out with these guys for such long time and you don’t know?’

‘Aditya and Vivek aren’t exactly sharing. They care, they don’t share. Naren isn’t either, but he has no choice since I am the girlfriend.’, she says and shrugs.

I nod. Apparently, Naren is the glue of the gang, who would have thought?

‘How is your roommate? You two getting along now?’.

‘Oh no. She is turned into a nightmare. Now that she has started, she can’t stop complaining about everything I do. She doesn’t like the way I arrange things in the kitchen, she doesn’t like the shows I watch on the TV. She doesn’t let me do my thing either, if I sit with my laptop she complains I am hogging our broadband. She also doesn’t like you.’

‘Why? I have met her only once and did not even speak to her much.’

Anitha just shrugs. ‘You see that cot there?’, I ask pointing at a single bed.

‘Yeah. It looks good, actually looks very comfy’, she says.

‘You wanna buy that and move in with me? My room is quite spacious, we can put that bed in the other corner of the room. I know it is not top privacy situation, but if you want, you can move’.

I have never been in a dorm or a hostel. I have never had to adjust with anyone who is a roommate. I don’t know if I could, but this feels like a good idea. Anitha had been sleeping in my couch, but still we had lived together for almost a month. Didn’t seem like a bad idea.

I know Anitha and her roommate shared a room too. The area we were in, affording another room was a bit over our budget.

‘Are you sure?’, Anitha asks.

‘Yes. I am.’

She shrieks all of a sudden and gives me a hug. ‘You are a life saver. You are actually going to give me peace of mind.’, her eyes are slightly shiny. I feel a little bit guilty. I should have asked her about this long back. But, like all girls who get too much into their guys, I did too. I make a mental note not to do this again, not to ignore others.

‘Sorry’, I tell her. ‘I should have done this earlier. Much earlier. I didn’t notice anyone else.’

Anitha gives me another hug. God, she is a hugger.

‘Priya. Chill. It happens. I have seen Karthik, I know it can happen’, she says and winks.

I couldn’t not blush.

‘It is going to be fun. We are going to have loads of fun. You know what, call everyone, we have to celebrate this.’

‘Umm Anitha? We came to buy chairs and now we also have to buy a cot and a mattress.’

‘Oh yeah’, she says and we get to work.

'This is the first good thing you have told us since you moved out.', my mom says. I had just called and told her that I am getting a roommate.

'We have been worried.. You living all alone..'.

Here I thought they had finally let me go and were okay with my gig.

'Mom', I chide her.

'Your dad wants to talk', she says and I wait.

 'I don’t know if you should get a roommate.', my dad says. Unexpected.

'Oh.. Really? Why?'

'Never mind. Take care Priya', he says. What is his deal?

'You did what?', this comes from Karthik when I tell him the same. 'I asked Anitha to move in with me and she is going to', I repeat.

'Why?'

'Well.. She is having trouble with her roommate'

'You didn’t tell me you were going to.' My parents didn’t say anything about it and he wants me to have deliberated it with him? Really?

'I didn’t know. Gee, should I ask your permission?'

I sound snappy. Karthik sighs.

'You don’t think, do you?'

'Excuse me?'

'Priya, I could drop by your place anytime.'

'You could now too. It is Anitha, not my mom'

He sighs again. 'I like your friend. I really do. But..'

I lose my patience. 'It is done Karthik. I don’t know if you have a say in this.'

'All I meant is, your apartment is already small'

'Yeah? Good that you aren’t living here then..'

'Priya, god. Don’t take it the wrong way. I meant that.. If I drop by she is going to be there.'

I try to calm myself. All he is trying to tell me is that he is worried about our privacy. I take a deep breath.

'That isn’t a problem really. She is going to be with Naren most of the time…'

Karthik doesn’t respond for a long time.

'Priya, is it because of the other day?'

'What? What other day?'

'You were very dissatisfied with your work. Are you trying to fill that with a roommate? Is it just another distraction?'

Hmmm. I don’t respond. I mean, who asks such questions?

'When are you celebrating?', he asks, understanding my mood probably.

'Right now? We are just waiting for the delivery of our furniture. Everyone is coming over to my place, our place'.

'You don’t even have space for people to sit'

'You just come.'

Our furniture had all arrived. We had moved my bed and placed her new bed in the other corner. We haven’t figured out where she is going to put the rest of her things. Anitha wasn’t worried though. She said she didn’t own much of anything except her clothes and few other stuff like books.

My old couch sat in the middle and I had gotten three chairs that were not too big, but comfortably cushioned. They were all in a shade of brown against the almost cream of the couch. I arranged them around the couch and we placed the coffee table smack in the middle. Now five people can easily lounge at my place. If they were willing to give up just a bit of their personal space, six people can be seated comfortably. Kewl.

Anitha and I freshened up and while I fretted about not having anything to give our guests, she just called Naren and asked him to buy a load of stuff and winked at me. That is convenient.

Karthik comes in earlier. 'Hey Pri. Hi Anitha', he calls out.

'Finally', he says sitting on one of the chairs. 'I need not worry about spoiling your fluffy pillows'. It is as if we had not argued over the phone. I am not entirely sure if that is a good or bad thing. Is this another distraction? His question runs through my mind. Why did he say another?

I take a bottle of water to him while Anitha sits on the chair next to him.

'I am sure you are not happy with this', she says smiling at him and guessing correctly.

Karthik just chuckles. 'Well, I can say I am not entirely thrilled.'

'You are worried I am going to cramp your comings and goings', she goes on.

Karthik looks at me for a beat. I shake my head to indicate I obviously did not tell her anything.

'I am happier that I wouldn’t have to worry about her all the time.'

Huh? Really? Is this the guy that spoke to me over phone? My jaw drops down. Anitha looks at me with an awwww look. Right.

I go sit on the couch right opposite to Karthik. I needed time to figure out what he meant and if he really meant it.

'How was your day?', he asks looking at me.

I shrug at him. 'Went okay', I say.

'Is everyone else coming down?', he asks looking at Anitha.

'Yup. They should be here any minute now. Excuse me', she says, picks up her phone from the coffee table and moves away.

'I am sorry about earlier', Karthik says, leaning forward towards me. I nod.

'If it sounded like you had to ask my permission, that was really not my intention.', he went on. I nod again. 'About the other thing I said, I think you should think about it'. I nod yet again.

'You are going to spend the whole night without talking to me or give me nothing more than a couple of words?', he asks. He looks surprised. Is this another distraction? I keep hearing that in my head. I sigh.

I think about it and I open my mouth to say something and that is when Naren, Aditya and Vivek walk in.

'Yayyyyyyy', they make sounds. Naren slaps Karthik on his arm and Karthik returns the favour, Vivek and Aditya shake his hand. They all say some form of greeting to me and Anitha comes out too, still over phone. She holds the handset, loudly greets everyone, informs she will be back and again leaves.

I am shoved to the corner of the couch and Naren sits beside me and Aditya sits next to him. Naren puts his arms around me and gives me a good teeth-rattling shake, his face full of smiles. Looking at him I couldn’t not smile. I smile at him. 'You are screwed. She is much closer to your apartment now. You are going to have much lesser space.', I tell him, trying to get him to remove his arms. He laughs. I look at Karthik and Karthik is looking at me, his face blank.

'Ya. I am doomed', he says but he says it happily. Aditya just shakes his head. 'He is crazy.'

'Naren?', Anitha calls him and he looks at her. 'Where are the chips?', she asks looking into a huge bag which is apparently what we are celebrating with. Naren gets up to go help her, the dutiful boyfriend that he is. Aditya glides towards me and puts his arm around my shoulder.

'You have no idea what you got yourself into', he chuckles.

'But I can't say I did not predict this. Vivek and I both expected this', he says looking at Vivek and Vivek nods his agreement.

'It is only logical. You and Anitha have a complementary frequency'.

We have what? I look at Karthik. Karthik has picked up a bottle of beer from the table and is looking pointedly at Aditya's arm around my shoulder. He lifts his eyes to me and takes a swig. Karthik seems to have a disliking for Aditya. I couldn’t guess why. I look at Aditya, and I can't see anything to dislike about him. I lean back on the couch.

'Priya? You are so silent', Vivek observes.

Naren comes at that point to lay out a bowl of chips and crackers and such snacks.

'She is isn’t she?', he says, picks up a beer and hands it to Vivek. Takes one for himself and sits next to Aditya. Aditya removes his arm and picks his a can of soda.

'Soda?', I ask him.

'I don’t do alcohol', he says and smiles. Really?

'I am surprised'

'Why?'

'You don’t do alcohol?', I look at Karthik to share my surprise with him, but Karthik and Vivek were discussing something, it sounded very techy. Great.

The conversation flows. I remain silent. I nurse my beer. Anitha actually has wine. She sits in the other chair having pulled it to Naren's side. I try to join in but all I hear in my head is Karthik's words. Is this another distraction? Damn. He is right, partially. I do care for Anitha. She is a very good friend. She shouldn’t be with a bad roommate. But that wasn’t the only intention for me asking her to move in. I was compensating for my dissatisfaction with work. Last time I wasn’t happy, I moved out of my house, the next time I spent all my time with Karthik which isn’t a bad thing, but completely ignoring rest of my life , was. I see the pattern. All I know is that I can't keep having distractions forever. I needed something more than a distraction. I also wonder how Karthik saw all this. How did he understand all this about me? I sigh.

I look at him and he is looking at me too.  He is leaning back on his chair, looking relaxed and his arms are crossed on his chest. He had refused another drink as he had to drive back home. I don’t know what overcomes me looking at him, I look away.

'Let me get you guys more drinks', I say and get up. I go into the kitchen and I had had an inkling that Karthik might follow. He does follow me.

'Are you alright?', he asks.

'No', I tell him. 'I am confused'. He comes towards me and pulls me into a hug. His chin rests on my head. He doesn’t say anything. Ummm.. I like the hug and all, but I would prefer if he said something.

'Karthik?', I prompt. His hold tightens. 'You were right', I didn’t add, again. He didn’t need to be reminded.

'Yeah?', he talks finally.

'I have been stalling and looking for distractions.'

'That's okay. I don’t think you need to hurry', he says, as if it isn’t a big deal that he spotted it.

I nod. 'I am not worried though.'

'Ohh?'

'I am going to take my time figuring out what is the other thing I want to do.'

'Okay'

'It isn’t practical to have a soul satisfying job all the time is it?'

'Not always' , he agrees. 'Really? Soul satisfying? I can't believe I thought you were down to earth. You are really dramatic', he smiles.

'I am not dramatic'.

'You are'

'Nupe'

'Babe', he says, making it sound like an admonition.

'How do you understand me so much?'

'You are like an open book. It is not very difficult'

'Let's assume for the purposes of this conversation that I am an open book. Still, I am sure this is not something that is like written on my forehead or something'

He chuckles. He takes his time to answer. 'I also observe. Observing, recording my observations and connecting the dots is my job.'

'Are you telling me that you observe each and every one and make notes?'

'I choose who I want to observe'.

'I am not sure I like your job'. Well I don’t. I don’t always want him to know exactly what is going on in my head.

He laughs. 'Naaa.. You like everything about me', he says. Conceited isn’t he? I am not saying what he says is untrue, but he doesn’t need his ego stroked.

'I hope this is not how you connect dots at work', I say, but I only get a chuckle again, I don’t want him to continue having his delusions. I raise on my toes and give him a peck on his right cheek. 'Let's get those people some drinks', I say and walk out, fully expecting him to follow me with drinks. I had to give a run for his money on the conceit department.

I go back to find Aditya off the couch and sitting where Karthik had been sitting. Karthik and I end up sitting on the couch after he places the drinks he carried on the table.

'We thought you were doing some brewing', says Naren and everyone laughs. I stare daggers at him but he just shrugs.

'Leave them be. They are fighting', says Anitha, obviously already happily high.

'This is the new kind of fight where the fighter follows the fightee around, I guess to fight', says Aditya.

Isn't this fun? Is this what I have to endure in a higher magnitude from now on? I look at Karthik, he has this almost smile on his face. I like this almost smile too. I am hopeless, I do like everything about him. But happily hopeless which is another level of hopeless.

Everyone including Anitha leaves after we order and eat dinner. They all helped clean up the mess too. They are a good bunch. But they leave me to contemplate and contemplate I do. I had to figure out a lot of things in my life still. Growing up sucks. You can get distracted and take a break, but you can't stop the inevitable. I am glad I have good friends and a great boyfriend, I have a job I like most of the time. I just need to find another thing that makes me feel full. I vow that I will find out even though I actively plan and execute multiple distractions.